Deal Breaker - Chapter 75
Kanghyeon only spoke to his father after steadying his emotions for a long time. As if waking him at two in the morning wasn’t enough, he became the unfilial son who abruptly brought up his will.
‘Han Kanghyeon, are you remotely driving a nail into your parents’ hearts?’
He deserved the scolding. But he didn’t have the luxury to worry about propriety.
‘Stop talking nonsense, and when you get back, stop wandering around and settle down. Get married before it’s too late, and think about becoming a good husband and father. What is all this talk about a will.’
Get married before it’s too late and become a good husband and father. The nagging he had always heard felt different today.
Marriage, and having children, are decisions made by following emotion rather than reason. When asked why they made such a decision, people can offer reasons that resonate emotionally, but they cannot present reasons that make sense logically.
That was why Kanghyeon had always shut down people who brought up marriage to him with rational arguments. His reason couldn’t be toppled by emotion. Reason had to be countered with reason alone. Yet people couldn’t find a proper rebuttal to statements like ‘marriage is a business that only brings losses,’ or ‘children are environmental destruction.’
It wasn’t that he truly believed those arguments, but from the start, Kanghyeon couldn’t emotionally empathize with the necessity of marriage or children. To him, it was simply someone else’s world, one that held no meaning.
And yet, he had begun to grow curious about that other world. Only after the end of his life had unexpectedly drawn close. It was ridiculous.
And at the end of that ridiculous train of thought, why did Noh Hyeji’s face keep surfacing.
Marriage is a decision made by following emotion. When Han Kanghyeon thinks of marriage, he thinks of Noh Hyeji. In other words, Han Kanghyeon has feelings for Noh Hyeji.
Emotion had been proven by rational logic. He could no longer refute his own heart.
“I love you, Noh Hyeji.”
The month or so he had spent trying to refute that confession, which had become a monologue because there was no one to hear it, felt meaningless in how easily Kanghyeon surrendered.
He had already known. In a mind where consciousness and subconsciousness were intermingled, honest inner feelings surfaced easily. Suggestions planted by others in his head might be fake, but words that sprang from his own mind were never fake.
Even knowing that, he had argued against it. Even knowing that the longer the excuse of ‘that’s not it’ dragged on, the more it proved that it was the answer.
Once he acknowledged his feelings, he realized that what he had felt toward Hyeji wasn’t possessiveness. You wouldn’t feel miserable because of possessiveness.
He now understood why he had felt miserable that night when he mistakenly believed Hyeji had come to his bed to earn money while liking another man. He had been miserable because he realized she didn’t have feelings for him.
What Kanghyeon had felt wasn’t an Esper’s twisted possessiveness toward his Guide, but the sense of loss of a man who believed he had lost the heart of the woman he loved. A common, universal human emotion.
“Han Kanghyeon, why did you do that.”
He still regretted that night. But the reason for the regret had changed.
It might have been an eternal last moment. He should not have sent Hyeji away, but held her in that bed until the sun rose. He should have told her he loved her.
He had said it wasn’t guiding but s*x, but now that he thought about it, it wasn’t s*x, it was love.
‘Hyeji-ya.’
‘…Yes?’
‘I just felt like calling you.’
He would confess after he returned alive. While looking into Hyeji’s eyes.
Noh Hyeji said nothing. He had an instinctive sense that she was smiling. As expected. When Hyeji spoke again, her voice carried a trace of laughter.
‘How old are you?’
From today, one year older. Han Kanghyeon, who loves Noh Hyeji, is one year older from today.
* * *
The person who left saying he would return in a week came back after two months.
On the way to pick him up at Incheon Airport, Hyeji turned her head and met the eyes of Han Kanghyeon’s father, Han Yoonseok, First Vice Minister, who was sitting in the driver’s seat, and gave an awkward professional smile. She had assumed someone of his stature would use a personal driver, so it was unexpected that he was driving himself.
“Hyeji-ssi, you’ve worked very hard all this time.”
As the airport came into view, Yoonseok thanked Hyeji, saying that seeing the airport meant the end of a hard road.
“It’s nothing. I didn’t really do anything. You’ll be able to sleep easy now, Vice Minister.”
“And you, Hyeji-ssi, can finally set one worry aside and focus on welcoming a new family member.”
Yoonseok glanced at her belly, which stood out even more now that she was seated. Hyeji responded with an awkward smile instead of words.
“We’re going to take Kanghyeon home and eat together. Please come with us, Hyeji-ssi.”
“No, it’s fine. You should have a comfortable family reunion.”
Although this incident was how they first met, and since then they had spoken on the phone every few days and met about once a week, Kanghyeon’s father was still an awkward presence to Hyeji. Like his son, he was a person with very clear boundaries.
“No matter how much an Esper affiliated with the Center contributes to international security, since he is operating as a private mercenary, the state cannot guarantee more than rescue efforts based on its duty to protect its citizens.”
That was the very first thing he said about his own son, who had been captured by terrorists, at the first meeting where the Center, the company, and the family had gathered.
