Guidelines for the Perfect Goodbye - Chapter 242
āDoes he even have any affection for meā¦?ā
There was no one to answer her. Even if he were standing right in front of her, she wouldnāt have dared to ask, so in the end, she would never hear the answer.
But Caroline already knew the answer.
Deep within her heart, there was a Pandoraās box that even she dared not open. Inside, a tightly hidden lump of truth resided.
There wasnāt just one or two truths. Every time Caroline faced a situation she found too difficult to accept, she sought that box. She buried her memories there, stuffing it with the rational conclusions she had reached and the wounds those realizations inflicted on her.
The box was already full. So full that it seemed ready to burst open at any moment and vomit all its truths onto her.
It wobbled left, wobbled right. Bloated and misshapen, the box had lost its original form and now rolled around like a ball.
And just when it seemed ready to spill its contents through a small gapā
āYoung Miss?ā
Louise always appeared.
āHas something troubling happened?ā
āā¦ā¦Ah.ā
Louise was really standing there at the door.
āM-Madameā¦ā¦ā
Caroline buried her face in Louiseās bosom and poured out all her sadness and pain.
āToday was a terrible day. Chris said he knew a good restaurant, so we went there. But the place was too secluded. Completely enclosed, so no one could see usā¦ā¦ā
āDid he⦠act improperly toward you, Milady?ā
āNo! Of course not. Iām not like Cecilia, throwing my body around carelessly. I refused him firmly, telling him I could never do such things with anyone but my husband.ā
āYou handled it wisely, Milady.ā
āBut was it really wiseā¦? Iām not sure anymore.ā
Carolineās voice trembled as tears welled up.
āO-On the way back, Chris was so cold to me⦠It was raining, and he didnāt even hold the umbrella properly over me.ā
Caroline hadnāt brought her parasol because of the overcast weather. Naturally, she hadnāt brought an umbrella eitherāonly her shawl.
Chris, accustomed to the spring rains in the capital, had come prepared with a large black umbrella, big enough to cover both of them.
But he didnāt tilt the umbrella toward Caroline. He didnāt outright push her away, but that was the extent of his effort.
Caroline had clung to his arm as they returned home, soaking wet. The feeling was devastating.
āDo you think I was foolish?ā
Louise paused to think, her lips twitching as if recalling a manual for maids. Then, with a sorrowful expression, she gently patted Carolineās back.
āNo, Milady. You did well. If you had given everything today, he might never have come back to you.ā
āYou never know⦠Iām leaving the capital soon. It feels like heās going to forget me entirely.ā
āNo, that wonāt happen. Heāll surely contact you again. If he sees you as more than a passing romanceāif he sees you as someone to marryāheāll reflect deeply on his actions, and heāll come back to apologize.ā
āDo you really think so?ā
āYes, of course.ā
Louise whispered softly.
āHeās fond of you, Milady. Turning fondness into love often requires conflict and misunderstanding. Thatās just how it works.ā
Louiseās words felt like magic. They always seemed to deliver the answers Caroline wanted to hear. She didnāt have to find the answers herself, nor did she have to seek them from others.
Because Louise knew all the answers Caroline longed for.
The box rattled inside her mind, as if to remind her of its presence. But right now, Caroline wasnāt afraid of it. Louise was here.
She crammed todayās frustration and doubts into the box. Pressed it down with her palm. The already bulging box absorbed her new memories.
She sealed it shut to keep it from opening. Added a sugar-made lock, as delicate as spun candy, and wrapped it tightly with yarn straightened by steam from a kettle.
āYouāre a kind and lovely person, Milady. Who could possibly dislike you? Donāt worry. Heāll soon come back to you.ā
Louiseās words felt as comforting as a fluffy blanket. Caroline leaned into them and closed her eyes, thinking.
āHow does Louise always seem to know exactly what Iām feeling? Like a ghost reading my thoughts.ā
Suddenly, the box let out a loud rumble. A fleeting sense of dread brushed over her, sending chills down her spine for no reason.
But.
āLook at Miss Cecilia. Even Sir Nigel, who once treated her so coldly, ended up becoming her lover. Love grows through storms of emotions that no one else can truly understand.ā
āā¦ā¦ā
Cecilia. Recently, Louise had been mentioning her often. And every time, the dark memories buried in Carolineās box would resurface, dragging old emotions with them.
The box was now full. If she wanted to put anything more inside, sheād have to empty it out soon.
And Louise, as always, provided the perfect target for Carolineās hatred.
Cecilia.
āā¦ā¦Youāre right. Thatās how it happened.ā
Caroline furrowed her brow but smiled.
āMy dear younger sister⦠How cunning she is.ā