Holy Night: My Husband is Definitely a Paladin - Chapter 137
Ignoring the throbbing sensation below, he brushed his fingers across his lips.
When Irene had grasped his hand, the dizzying sensation was almost too overwhelming to keep his composure.
But now, no matter how much he retraced that touch, he couldnāt feel even a sliver of those emotions from that moment.
For the first time in his life, Michael felt an intense longing.
He knew he wanted something, but he couldnāt quite define what it was.
Inside, his body felt like it was burning, desperate, as though he had to hold onto something right now.
Confused by this unfamiliar sensation, he bit down on his finger once more.
The knights he once trained with had often looked at him with baffled expressions each morning.
āIt seems the divine has taken away even the natural desires your body should have.ā
They would then murmur among themselves about how they dealt with their own feelings in private.
Naturally, Michael had brushed their words aside.
After all, it was irrelevant to him.
Stories about feeling stirred by women on missions or unbidden sensations each morningāhe thought it was simply an issue of undisciplined minds.
He never thought he needed to pay attention to such thingsā¦
But now, looking down at himself, he found himself in a very different situation.
In the past, he had only experienced mild discomfort at most, if anything made contact, but never had he felt thisā¦ intensity.
Physical indulgence was considered one of the greatest vices for a servant of the divine.
Yet here he was, struggling to handle this sensation within himself.
Though no one else was present, he felt endless shame, unsure how to dispel this desire.
āIf Iād known, I would have listened.ā
The crude talk heād ignored suddenly seemed relevant.
Not knowing how to calm his body, he decided to turn first to the power of prayer.
āā¦Grant me the strengthā¦ to guard against these impure thoughtsā¦ and to resistā¦ā
He had lived his life finding it easier to recite scripture than to breathe.
Yet here he was, stumbling over his words.
Even the laziest priest could have recited this better.
Despite reciting for quite some time, his body remained unchanged. Heād thought this would calm him down, butā¦
Then, once again, an image of Irene came to mind, reaching out and grasping his hand without hesitation.
If only the thought had ended there.
But his mind went further, imagining him and Irene, as other pairs did, embracing and exchanging kisses.
āAhā¦ā
An unbearable tension surged within him.
Ordinarily unfazed by pain, he found himself struggling against this unfamiliar intensity.
And then, Michael realized something.
It wasnāt that the divine had deprived him of desire.
His desires had simply awakened far later than othersā.
And now, to resolve this, he had to follow the very instinct he had always disciplined himself against.
After hesitating a long time, Michael shut his eyes tightly and lowered his hand.
Though he had seen his body countless times, it startled him to find it so markedly intense.
āMmhā¦ā
At the touch, a shock ran through his body, and he trembled.
His hesitant hand moved instinctively.
With each motion, his vision flickered.
He knew well that what he was doing was something warned against in scripture.
But his hand didnāt stop, moving with even greater urgency.
He had thought this might calm him down, but instead, the sensation only grew stronger.
Without another solution, he continued, feeling the desire inside him building up, ready to spill over.
