I Became a Barbarian's Bride - Chapter 103
“Sharhu.”
At the sound of his name, the chancellor gave a slight bow, understanding what was needed without further instruction.
“I’ll prepare a full report and present it soon.”
“Good. And…”
“I’ll make sure to keep it quiet as well.”
At Sharhu’s words, Kagan nodded, then turned away without hesitation. He trusted that everything would be handled properly, as it had always been.
“Princess, you should rest in your room for now.”
“Oh, yes.”
Nisha quietly nodded instead of protesting.
“And tomorrow, may I sleep alone?”
At her question, Kagan’s lips pressed into a thin line as he slowly lowered his gaze.
“…Wouldn’t it be better for you to rest a little longer?”
“I feel a bit uneasy without it.”
“…If that’s what my princess wishes, then that’s how it shall be.”
Kagan whispered softly, a faint smile playing at his lips as he continued walking.
“And…”
“And what?”
“If you put me down, I can walk on my own…”
Nisha, suddenly realizing she had been carried in his arms the entire time, blushed deeply and spoke in a small, shy voice.
Of course, Kagan burst into hearty laughter, completely ignoring her request with a wry smile, and continued on his way.
***
Once again, Nisha managed to secure some time alone, and after telling him she was heading back to her room, she made her way to the garden.
Since she was going to use her abilities again today, she felt the need to dry out the herbs in advance, as she was about to run out of them.
Thanks to the excuse of needing her powers, no one found it strange that she preferred to sleep alone.
Of course, she also made sure that no one came in while she slept.
This arrangement made replenishing her life force much easier.
In the past, she had to persuade Mary, all the while worrying about someone walking in at any moment, allowing her to only recharge her energy for a few hours at best.
Nowadays, she was consistently able to fill up 24 hours worth of life force.
‘My body does feel a little heavier, though.’
Unlike before, there were times when she woke up and couldn’t move for quite a while, as though pinned down by an invisible weight.
The moments when her body would grow cold and stiff had also increased.
It wasn’t an issue, as everything returned to normal after a while.
But here’s something to think about:
When people become addicted to something stimulating, they crave and seek it out endlessly.
It’s much like a drug.
And yet, addiction isn’t exclusive to substances.
People who become addicted to gambling are drawn to the thrill of uncertainty, the fear of loss coupled with the adrenaline rush when they win. That feeling of excitement becomes addictive.
At first, they start with small bets, but as they get used to the pleasure, they raise the stakes.
That’s because the higher the stakes, the greater the anxiety of loss and the more intense the euphoria when they win.
It’s the same for some people.
There are those who become addicted to their own pain, finding pleasure in it.
That’s why there are people who constantly hurt themselves, they become addicted to the sensation that spreads into pleasure in the moment.
Nisha was no different.
At first, it hurt, and it was unbearable. She thought she would never want to experience it again. But one difficult day, the memory of that moment surfaced in her mind.
She had forgotten all the pain, and all that remained was the sensation, the impulse of that fleeting moment just before her breath had almost completely ceased.
The first time, it had been agonizing and dreadful. But afterward, the brief sensation of weightlessness appealed to her.
At first, she only thought of that floating sensation when things were hard. But one day, even while sitting idly, it began to come to her mind from time to time.
That’s how addiction works.
It creeps in without you realizing it, without you intending it, until one day it’s there. An inescapable thought that won’t leave your mind.
Nisha knew she was dangerously close to saying she was addicted to this thing she should never have started.
It meant that death no longer felt as heavy to her as it once did.
