I Became a Barbarian's Bride - Chapter 118
The first stitch was misaligned from the start.
I thought that even if it was wrong, things would somehow work out. Everything seemed smooth.
Nisha had never once rejected him, so he believed all was going well.
Up until just the other day, he was certain of it.
But now, look.
One misaligned stitch had caused everything to go so disastrously off track.
“Why… Why do you think I would do something to you?”
“I’m not doubting you, Kagan. But you’ve seen my ability. Who could call me human after that?”
Nisha lowered her voice cautiously.
The ability to die and come back to life.
Was it really an ability, or was it more of a curse? She wasn’t sure.
It was certainly an uncommon power, one that came with a price, but there was no reason for her to be so terrified or afraid.
With him around, who would dare speak ill of her?
“Why did it come to this?”
“…What?”
“Even if you drink poison, it doesn’t mean death is painless, right? There’s pain, isn’t there?”
At Kagan’s words, Nisha tilted her head slightly, then nodded slowly.
“Yes.”
“Why… What could possibly drive you to go so far for others? What is Xieman to you, and what were the people of Roshan to you, that you’d do this?”
Using her ability for those close to her could be understandable.
Her power was, after all, meant to save others, to heal someone.
But for it to extend to the masses? That was strange.
What were they to her?
“Do you really want to be some kind of saint? Walking into death, over and over again?”
Kagan spoke, his voice brimming with anger. Nisha blinked slowly, then tilted her head.
Her lips faintly parted, and she let out a short breath.
“I don’t know.”
It took a while before Nisha finally spoke, causing Kagan to freeze for a moment.
“What?”
“I don’t know what I want. But doing this… at least makes me useful.”
For decades, she’d lived without being recognized.
For decades, her very birth had been denied, her existence rejected.
A life where even being alive wasn’t forgiven.
So she found something to do. This power—it made her feel useful.
She couldn’t bring herself to tell the palace, afraid of what it might lead to, but at least she was finally acknowledged.
The saint who appeared only on crimson nights.
All she did was use her ability, and yet people revered her for it.
That’s how she became a saint.
It wasn’t a bad life. A life where everyone awaited her, where she was needed.
Although she had lost her place again and ended up here, she found something to do in this place as well.
“It just feels good, that’s all.”
“…Useful? You are enough just by existing…”
“And anyway, you said I’m a sacrifice. I didn’t think it was so bad.”
Nisha smiled as she looked at Kagan’s stiffened face.
“I didn’t know you could make that kind of expression. This is the first time I’ve seen it.”
Nisha lightly clenched and unclenched her fists a few times before slowly standing up.
“It’s not something I hate doing, and I don’t plan on erasing my debt to you. What I want is…”
“Want?”
“For the children who came with me to settle down properly and for me not to die alone in loneliness.”
She added with a quiet smile, as if that was all she wished for, and then casually stretched as if nothing had happened.
“Do you know? There’s this oddly pleasant feeling when you float up into the sky while dying.”
“…What?”
“I don’t know why you’re angry, but if it’s guilt that’s bothering you, don’t worry. I’m doing what I want. As long as you don’t send me to some kind of lab.”
“…A lab?”
Kagan pressed his palm against his throbbing forehead, unable to make sense of what she was saying.
“Have you been reading stories about barbarians or something?”
“No. But I figured a body that doesn’t die would be good for experiments.”
Kagan felt his mind go numb as he heard the mention of experiments, swallowing hard in disbelief.
“Right, so that’s what you think.”
“…If there’s anything bothering you or if there’s a problem, just let me know.”
“The problem is that you don’t seem to grasp the seriousness of this situation at all.”
Despite Kagan’s words, Nisha didn’t hide the curious, confused expression on her face.
He stared at her for a long while.
“I don’t want you to die or to help Xieman in this way. Not at all.”
