I Became a Barbarian's Bride - Chapter 152
A person who wants to die but lacks the courage, merely breathing and surviving without the resolve to end it.
In some ways, she considered it fortunate—fortunate that she lacked the courage.
“……”
Kagan lifted Nisha effortlessly, setting her onto his thigh.
Her body, still so light despite everything he had fed her, dangled with barely any effort on his part.
“Don’t be afraid, Nisha.”
He whispered as he embraced her from behind, holding her close.
He couldn’t fully grasp the emotion, but he felt the need to soothe her somehow.
“I had no intention of troubling you. I only meant that I would make them feel what you’ve felt.”
As he murmured, his hand gently patted her chest in a steady rhythm, and gradually, her breathing began to calm.
“Isn’t that right?”
He whispered softly into her ear.
“All you have to do, Princess, is sit here and wait until I bring you the results. You don’t need to do anything until you feel ready.”
Kagan’s voice was utterly devilish.
The words he spoke were far from sweet nothings.
The process he described would soak the ground in the blood of countless people and require treating humans as less than human.
Yet he whispered it to her as if it were the sweetest of fruits he would offer.
And Nisha found herself thinking that, against her will, she might just become intoxicated by that voice.
Wouldn’t Nisha have wanted revenge?
Wouldn’t she have been angry?
She wasn’t.
She wanted to be angry, to exact revenge. But simply, painfully, she lacked the strength.
The moment she dared to speak back, countless punishments awaited her.
That castle was his kingdom, her playground. Nisha was nothing more than livestock caught in their hands.
Calling her a sewer rat wasn’t far from the truth.
To survive, she hid, over and over, running and hiding again.
The resentment that piled up and piled up eventually led to surrender. It was the obedience of a beast who learned that rebellion only brought back violence.
From the moment she submitted, she lost her reason to live.
Her future was too uncertain to dream of anything, her life too barren and dry to hold anything close to her heart.
She no longer even had the will to pity herself.
From the moment she surrendered, accepted, and gave up, what came in place of hope was despair, disguised as hope.
The moment she realized she couldn’t die, ironically, death became her only hope.
She couldn’t share all these complicated feelings, but it was true—she had no desire to live.
She lived simply because she was alive.
She kept going simply because she couldn’t die.
And so now, having found a way to die, Nisha suddenly had a purpose in life.
It certainly wasn’t in the direction this man wished for…
Nisha lightly pressed the back of her head against his chest, holding onto the hem of his garment.
She wanted to be loved.
For quite a long time.
At first, she needed her parents’ love, then her siblings’ love, and eventually, anyone’s love would have sufficed.
Now, it didn’t matter who.
She just wanted to be loved.
Turning, Nisha looked up at Kagan. Would this man know how to love? It didn’t matter if he did or didn’t.
This sweet sanctuary he offered was just enough for her.
A sudden, selfish desire arose within her.
She wanted this man to love her. This man who said he would give her anything, she wanted his love.
And she wanted to take her last breath in the arms of someone who loved her.
Without a word, Nisha placed her palm against his chest, her gaze drifting slowly.
As her face drew closer, Kagan inhaled slowly.
“……”
“……”
Their eyes met for a brief moment.
Nisha tightened her grip around his waist and lifted her head toward his face.
“Kagan.”
“Hm?”
“Can you give me anything I want?”
At her question, Kagan blinked once, studying her gaze intently before letting out a faint chuckle.
“Of course. Anything.”
The corners of Nisha’s eyes curved softly.
At that moment, as if Kagan’s emotions had been stirred, his eyes began to take on a crimson hue.
Eyes steeped in desire—how fittingly devilish, promising her anything she wanted.
“What do you think it is that I want right now?”
Nisha whispered, bringing her lips dangerously close to his.
