I Became a Barbarian's Bride - Chapter 176
Xieman was not a nation created by Adin.
What he had made were the first people, known as Kashan, who longed for freedom.
They gathered and formed settlements, built nations, and began to worship Adin as their god.
Up to that point, there was nothing particularly troubling.
But yes.
What he could not understand was why Adin interfered with them to this degree.
The people of Xieman worshiped him as a god, but theirs was not a theocracy, nor were they blind in their faith.
Even so, the god would occasionally deliver oracles, as if to remind them of his presence, taking something from the Katun and granting something else in return.
No one could ever truly understand what went on in the mind of an omnipotent god.
âAdin, who only reveals himself to the Katun.â
And whenever he appeared, it was said he took something from them in return.
His mother had once told him the same.
That Adin had appeared above the volcano.
And the next day, she had lost her sight. Overnight, she could no longer see the world before her eyes.
But in exchange, she began to see things invisible to others, much like Kagan himself.
The only mercy was that, unlike him, she had not suffered the burning pain that came with it.
Even so, Kagan could not make sense of it all, the countless misfortunes spread before his eyes.
âWhat if Nishaâs misfortune began with Xieman itself?â
What if every sorrow she had endured had been part of Adinâs design?
And even knowing that, should he still hold her close, keep her bound, and allow her to continue as Katun?
He knew it was only speculation. It had all begun in another land, and there was a greater chance that Adinâs influence had not reached that far.
But even so, her arrival in Xieman had been too precise, too perfect.
She had appeared with a power far beyond human reach.
A power that was exactly what Xieman needed, at exactly the time it was needed.
Kagan tightened his hold on her cold hand, as if his warmth alone could keep her from freezing.
Yet, absurdly enough, her cooling body did not seem to accept his warmth.
He roughly rubbed his face with both hands, then he smashed his forehead onto the bed.
The soft mattress dulled the impact, leaving him without the pain he wanted.
ââŚI should raise the room temperature.â
So that when she woke, she wouldnât feel cold, even for a moment.
ââŚâ
If he had known what her power truly was, he never would have begged her to save his subordinate.
When his subordinate died, it was because he was weak. But her death, her exhaustion, could not possibly be her wish.
He hoped so, at least.
Kagan increased the roomâs heat and placed more logs in the fireplace, yet his expression did not ease.
He couldnât understand what good this abundance of Xieman was supposed to bring.
Was their god truly trying to justify the idea that everyoneâs happiness could be built upon one personâs sacrifice?
That was no better than nonsense.
âDamn itâŚâ
He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a long sigh.
He knew it was pointless anger, but even so, he couldnât stop it.
This had been what Nisha wanted.
And yet, he still didnât understand why she had wanted it.
Kagan realized, only now, how little he truly knew about her.
It made sense. She never spoke of anything unless someone asked.
She was never very curious about others, nor did she speak much about herself.
Whenever she opened her mouth, it was always to ask for something. A favor for someone else. Never one for herself.
Who had made her this way?
âWould erasing Roshanâs name from the map make this feeling go away?â
Would it ease this filthy, bitter frustration burning inside him?
Would it allow Nisha to finally speak honestly again, for herself alone?
Lost in thought, Kagan stared blankly at the veins rising on the back of his hand and let out a hollow laugh.
