I Became a Barbarian's Bride - Chapter 181
Nisha looked at him with an expression of complete incomprehension, but she did not add anything more.
“Kagan, you are strange.”
“What about me?”
“Just… that you can care this much.”
She spoke with a faint smile. Kagan’s expression shifted, and she quickly spoke again.
“I mean, even though it must be a little troublesome, you still worry about me, and I am grateful.”
“It is not troublesome. It is just upsetting to see you like this.”
The strangeness includes feelings like this one, spoken so plainly.
Nisha slowly nodded and turned her gaze away. Kagan silently pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“Anyway, I am glad you returned safely. But has it ever happened before, you opening your eyes this late?”
“Usually not…”
She had vaguely felt that she had been waking a little later recently.
Though waking when the sun was rising was something that had never happened before.
Not wanting to deepen his worries, Nisha slowly shook her head and held back from saying the rest.
“I guess I was just tired.”
“I hope that is all it is… but if this keeps happening, it might mean your pattern has changed, so we have to look into it.”
“Can we do such a thing?”
“Usually the cost of an ability follows a single routine, but sometimes when something changes, the pattern can shift too.”
Kagan said it, but Nisha still did not understand.
If she grabbed onto the words and kept asking questions, the conversation would only get longer, so she simply nodded to show she accepted it.
“First, let us eat.”
“Yes.”
“And today, you are resting.”
“…Mm.”
Seeing the man who looked absolutely determined to make her rest no matter what, Nisha let out a small laugh.
“Why are you laughing?”
At his gruff voice, Nisha tilted her head slightly and spoke.
“Just… because I like it.”
Kagan flinched and stiffened at her words.
“What do you like?”
“Everything.”
She liked everything.
That someone worried for her, that someone stayed beside her, that she did not feel cold when she opened her eyes.
All of it.
“I am glad I have this ability. At least I can be helpful.”
“…Yes.”
He stroked her head silently as he answered.
Kagan placed her in the warm water of the bath and let out a long breath.
It was a fortunate day, a day when a night and dawn that had felt endless finally gave way to morning.
***
“Are you angry…?”
In the rattling carriage, Nisha glanced at him cautiously as she asked.
Kagan looked at her briefly, then closed his mouth with a sullen expression and narrowed his eyes.
“Not at all.”
He said not at all, but his eyes were completely sullen. What was that supposed to mean?
Nisha let out a deep sigh.
“That is why, since you did not want to see it, I…”
“You mean you took that medicine while hiding from me.”
“…”
She had only gone somewhere quiet because she thought he disliked it so much he physically trembled.
She had even written a proper letter…
“And who told you to leave the lord’s manor on your own? What if something had happened!”
“That is why I took Mary with me…”
“That maid Mary does not know how to fight.”
At Kagan’s harsh words, Nisha shut her mouth tight.
‘Then do not tremble like that.’
He had held her, terrified, telling her not to die over and over. She had thought he might have been traumatized.
How was she supposed to tell someone with trauma that she needed to take the medicine again?
Shaman Territory was still unfinished, and Nisha needed to take the medicine one more time…
“In the first place, I do not even die, but you keep getting scared, so…”
Nisha, feeling a surge of emotion, and talked back without thinking.
She expected Kagan to respond, but he remained silent.
Completely silent.
So, with her head turned away, she could only shrink her neck and sneak a glance at him again.
“…If our positions were reversed, do you think you could say the same thing to me?”
“…That…”
“If I did not die, would you really be able to tell me it was fine to swallow poison whenever I wanted? To me?”
Hearing his voice asking her so directly, Nisha fell quiet, unable to speak.
Even if she wanted to argue back, she knew his words were not wrong.
“…I…”
Kagan watched quietly as her lips trembled faintly.
“You use your ability because you want someone to acknowledge you, do you not? Because you want to believe you still have worth.”
“…!”
