I Give Up on the BL Novel's Male Leads - Chapter 147
Everything Melias had ever wanted had always come easily to him.
Therefore, he didnât show much attachment or possessiveness towards belongings or friends.
Friends were merely temporary companions, not eternal partners, and he could easily obtain any material possession he desired.
Yet, it was precisely because of this that the desire to keep Illein by his side forever felt both unfamiliar and intense.
“Iâm worried that Melias might catch a cold.”
“If I do, you can just take care of me.”
“Puhuh⌠that sounds good.”
Every time he looked into Illein’s eyes, that feeling seemed entirely natural. She was stunningly beautiful, almost blindingly so.
Among all the people Melias had met in his life, none shone as brilliantly as Illein did.
Her sugar-like silver hair sparkled like that of a fairy. If a chandelier could take human form, it would surely be Illein, radiating an unparalleled beauty.
Perhaps it was because he collected glasswork that he appreciated her beauty so desperately.
He was accustomed to seeing the beauty in everything that sparkled with transparency.
Yet, unlike those cold glass sculptures, Illein’s peachy cheeks, full and alluring lips, and her curvesâeverything about her seemed to stir something deep within him.
“Melias?”
“Ill, Illein, I want to hold your hand.”
He said this while gazing at her hand.
Illein thought he meant he wanted to escort her to the carriage, so she took the initiative and entwined her fingers with his.
“Is this alright?”
Melias was taken aback by her action, his eyes widening, though he tried to ignore the pounding of his heart and nodded.
“Letâs walk slowly.”
“Sure.”
Illein wished she could love Melias more deeply.
If she truly fell for him, this moment would feel joyful, and she would welcome his affections.
In reality, Illein was exhausted.
Both physically and mentally.
Everything happening around her lately had weighed heavily on her.
While she fought to become the top student at the academy, part of her wanted to simply give up.
Every time her parents unleashed their verbal abuse, invisible wounds piled up in her heart.
The bullying she faced at the academy had similarly drained her. So, she often thought that perhaps staying in this moment wasnât so bad.
She didnât dislike Melias, nor was it a bad choice.
Even if she graduated at the top of her class from the academy and became a civil servant, would she really be able to sever ties with her family completely?
She had thought it was possibleâvaguely soâbut that certainty was slowly fading away.
Thoughts of her parents not letting her go easily kept swirling in her mind.
They might torment her for a lifetime. No matter how much she hid behind the imperial family, she doubted they would thoroughly protect her as a low level civil servant.
These thoughts made her head spin. Perhaps that was why they kept resurfacing.
What if she married Melias? Would he, Marquis Wignum, be able to protect her? Would that be the answer to severing ties? With the power of Marquis Wignum, it seemed plausible.
At first, she had dismissed the idea as a mere political marriage, but now she wasnât sure if that was the wrong choice.
Maybe thatâs why? Illein instinctively leaned into Meliasâs arms.
She didnât understand why she was behaving this way.
“Illein?”
Meliasâs eyes widened in surprise at her sudden action, and he looked flustered, unsure of what to do.
-Swoosh.
Then Melias wrapped his arms around her. As he held her tightly, a rush of embarrassment flooded over her.
It was only then that she realized what she had done and gasped in surprise. Why was she acting like this?
“Melias.”
“Yes, Illein.”
“Can you hold me tighter? So I canât breathe.”
“Then youâll have a hard time.”
“Just a little tight would be good; Iâd like it if it feels a bit suffocating.”
Right now, she wanted to stay just like this, pushing aside the complicated thoughts in her mind.
The presence of her family loomed over her like a noose, tightening its grip. The empire’s social structure was still such that the head of the household held absolute power, and daughters were treated like possessions.
That was something Illein couldnât change. Melias exhaled as if tense and held her firmly.
“Hmm⌔
“Does it hurt?”
“Donât let go. Just like before⌔
She spoke with a hint of disappointment as he loosened his embrace. Then he pulled her back in tightly.
Illein felt warmth radiating from all around her.
Her chest felt constricted, but thanks to Meliasâs warmth, she was slowly regaining her composure.
“Um, Melias.”
“Yes?”
“I want to love you.”
“âŚIllein.”
“I donât mean loving someone in particular or anything like that. I just⌠really want to fall in love with you⌠and I hope it happens.”
As she said this, Illein sincerely wished to love him.
