I Give Up on the BL Novel's Male Leads - Chapter 153
Despite the devotion and affection that Melias showed her, Illein couldnāt shake the feeling that if she learned the amount of debt involved, sheād be trapped by it.
Illein was struggling to shake off the confusion and discomfort she felt.
“Melias.”
“Yes?”
“Is it really just that being a water mage is enough to make me your wife? Is that all that matters?”
She suddenly began questioning her own worth. Naturally, her voice was tinged with tension.
A water mage. Besides that, there was nothing objectively valuable about her. Yet, she wanted to hear that there was more to her than just that.
Melias, noticing the uncertainty in her eyes, realized that he needed to reassure her. The reason he started this conversation in the first place was to address this.
“At first, yes, thatās what it was.”
“ā¦.”
In the beginning, that had been everything. To Melias, nothing else had mattered. He thought it was the natural duty of the noble family.
“Our family is already strong. Weāve achieved a lot. Even if I take over the family, thereās not much more I can do. The wealth and foundation passed down from previous generations are solid, and all my father and I know how to do is maintain it and keep it strong in the future.”
He spoke calmly, but he kept his gaze steady, trying to ease Illein’s concerns.
“Thatās why even the slightest betrayal canāt be overlooked.”
“ā¦.”
“The Wignum estate controls most of the business ventures in our family. If we canāt even provide safe water for the people there, itās a fatal issue.”
“ā¦Melias.”
“Of course, we could always buy the water and provide it that way, and we do that now. But we canāt keep doing that forever. The head of the Wignum family has the responsibility to ensure that safe water is provided to all the people in the estate and maintain its stability.”
For Melias, this wasnāt just an obligation; he had always believed it was the natural thing to do, something he had been taught since childhood.
“So, thatās why I need someone like you, Illein, who I can trust.”
He reached out and gently placed his hand over hers. Illein flinched slightly at the gesture, but she didnāt pull her hand away.
She felt the warmth of his touch, but despite that, her heart remained cold. In the end, her worth was still tied to her water affinity and her ability to be trusted.
Nothing had really changed from the beginning.
Instead of feeling reassured, Illein only felt an increasing burden, especially with the talk about debts.
She realized that Melias wasnāt loving her for who she was. His actions were motivated by the duties of a noble family, and he treated her with respect, but it was all out of obligation, not affection.
Of course, Melias had no idea of Illeinās inner turmoil. He thought he had done enough to show his feelings for her. His gestures, like patting her hand, were filled with affection from his side.
“Melias.”
“Yes?”
Illein thought to herself that this wasnāt the way things should be. But her disappointment overwhelmed her, and she couldnāt hold back. A relationship determined by usefulness felt like the worst kind.
“What if a woman you truly love comes along? If Iām still by your side, donāt you think youāll find me burdensome?”
She shot the words coldly at him.
“Illein, thatāsā¦.”
“What if sheās also a water mage, like me? Will you regret marrying me then? What if sheās stronger than me, with better magical abilities?”
Illein didnāt want to beg for acknowledgement based on her usefulness.
In truth, the best choice left for her might be to marry Melias. To make it work, she might have to comply with him, adjust herself to him, and swallow her feelings.
But Illein hated the thought of that.
The idea that her only option left was to settle into this choice suffocated her. It made her feel trapped and constrained.
“That will never happen!”
Melias was caught off guard. Her reaction wasnāt what he expected, and he didnāt know how to respond.
Meliasās behavior grew stiff in response.
“I would never meet another woman while Iām with you.”
At that moment, Meliasās response was genuine, his voice filled with sincerity.
“Really?”
Illein asked again bitterly. She wondered if she was just unwilling to believe in it.
Melias’s voice seemed truthful and full of certainty, but still, she found herself doubting.
“Yes.”
His simple, clear answer made her even more uncertain, as if she couldn’t quite accept it.
Eventually, Illein suppressed her bitter smile and took Meliasās hand.
“Thank you.”
The atmosphere during dinner wasnāt bad. The beautiful view and excellent food were enough to make anyone feel good.
But throughout the meal, Illein felt uneasy. Melias’s unconditional kindness constantly pricked her conscience.
