I Give Up on the BL Novel's Male Leads - Chapter 160

Her voice came out gruff and sharp, clearly showing how upset she was.

“It’s you, isn’t it?”

Edwin stared at her in disbelief, pointing at her.

“Huh?”

This time, Illein gave him a look of astonishment. She was serious, but he didn’t seem to be, and it only made her feel more disappointed.

Yet, despite his playful attitude, she didn’t entirely dislike it. In fact, though it was difficult to understand, she felt oddly happy.

“What’s with that strange expression?”

“I don’t know. I think I might be a little mad right now, so don’t talk to me.”

Illein, not wanting him to see through her feelings, deliberately pretended to be even more sulky.

At the same time, she lightly pushed him away.

But there was no real strength in her push.

It was just a show, and Edwin shook his head, holding both of her hands down as he pressed his body closer to hers.

“Ugh!”

Illein’s face flushed red in an instant. As Edwin moved closer, she felt her heart start pounding uncontrollably. The whole situation seemed so unfair to her.

“I don’t want this.”

Edwin just smiled teasingly at her.

“Edwin.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re annoying.”

She tried to put on her coldest expression, her voice coming out emotionless.

“Heh… I’ve heard that a lot before.”

But still, Edwin responded playfully to her attitude.

“Me? I don’t even curse much.”

Illein felt unjustified by his ridiculous response, and before she knew it, tears began to well up in her eyes.

She wasn’t sure whether it was because of sadness, frustration, or anger, but the tears quickly started to run down her face.

“Why are you crying?”

Edwin was caught off guard by her sudden emotional shift. What could have made her cry?

No matter how hard he thought about it, he couldn’t figure it out. He was confused.

Illein found that even more upsetting. She was frustrated that she was the only one acting this way, and before she knew it, she blurted out what had been on her mind.

“I was just really excited earlier.”

She blurted it out without holding back.

“…What?”

Edwin was completely thrown off by her words, unable to understand what she meant. He repeated her words in confusion, not grasping the context.

“And Edwin wanted to hear my heartbeat, so I thought Edwin’s would be pounding like mine.”

“….”

“But it doesn’t seem like it’s doing that, and now I’m mad. I hate it.”

Edwin stared at her, genuinely shocked by her honest words.

“Lying.”

“I don’t know, I really… I hate it.”

As she turned her head away, struggling to hold back tears, Edwin looked down at her like he was completely stunned.

Yet, he still seemed to doubt whether her actions were sincere.

“Don’t lie. You’re not that kind of person, are you?”

When Edwin said that, Illein sharply turned her head and looked at him.

For a moment, the resentment and unexplainable emotions reflected in her eyes made Edwin deeply uneasy.

This was beyond anything he had expected, and it left him confused. He couldn’t comprehend why she was acting this way—especially since the Illein he knew wouldn’t express emotions like this.

Edwin, who usually appeared fierce and merciless like a beast, now seemed as tame as a lamb. Cold sweat trickled down his back, unable to hide his flustered state.

With his eyes filled with confusion, Edwin trembled slightly, as if the turbulence within him was quietly transmitting to the other person.

“What kind of person am I?”

“You’ve… you’ve always run away from me whenever I acted like this.”

Edwin’s voice, strained through tightly pressed lips, was mixed with hatred, resentment, and lament.

But for Illein, it was hard to fully understand those emotions. She couldn’t even grasp why he was feeling this way.

“When have I ever run away? Can’t you see that I’m here in front of Edwin?”

In fact, everything Edwin was doing—his actions, words, and the aura he gave off—made Illein feel sad. She was overwhelmed by a sense of deep dissatisfaction.

Buried under that feeling of disappointment, Illein couldn’t process Edwin’s words. She also didn’t think his words were genuine.

How could something be true when the person involved doesn’t even know about it? If the victim exists, how could the perpetrator be unaware of it?

Illein, thinking that Edwin was intentionally trying to hurt her, scowled and glared at him with intensity.

Her heart was in turmoil. She couldn’t make sense of her feelings at all.

When she was with Melias, life felt overwhelming, difficult, and burdensome. She was grateful for his devotion, but it also felt suffocating, and she felt guilty for not being able to fully accept his heart.

This made her more exhausted, and her mind began to wear thin under the weight of it all. She struggled with the reality she couldn’t fight against and the sense of being forced into something.

That might sound like a luxury to some, but it only made things harder for Illein. Yet, when she looked at Edwin, all those struggles seemed to fade away.

Just seeing him made her happy. And the fact that he had come to see her filled her with joy.