I Give Up on the BL Novel’s Male Leads

Was it the right choice? Was this path the correct one…?

She still found it difficult to grasp, but she didn’t turn back from her decision.

‘Illein.’

Every time she thought of Melias, who had looked at her with such kindness, she wanted to shake off the heaviness in her heart. She wanted to repay his kindness.

At the same time, there was also the desire to escape this tiresome situation and live a bit more comfortably.

If staying in this stagnant relationship was all there was, she honestly wished for some progress to come through the love potion.

Perhaps…

‘The side effect of the love potion is that the feelings of love may remain forever.’

Even knowing that the side effect she had learned about in class could leave her with lingering feelings, she still thought,

“I’d rather it be like that.”

If she were to fall in love with Melias in this way, she wouldn’t feel burdened by all that he gave her. Instead, she would be grateful. She would work hard to become a woman who is worthy of him.

“…But I still want to be a civil servant.”

She hoped that, even if she were to lose her sanity from the love potion, she would at least not give up on that dream.

Soon, she reached her room and laid out the materials.

She summoned the magical potion tools she had stacked up for the experiment with her wand. The magic flowing from the end of her wand began to set up the surroundings. Then, she placed the small box she had received earlier on her palm and spoke.

“Black peacock tail feather, death beans, frog heart, unicorn horn, sheep ear hair, cat claws. 2ml of Mertesavant, 3ml of Vandicel, 10ml of Romandates, 1L of distilled water.”

As soon as she spoke, the small box on her palm glowed, and the items she named appeared on the table. She kept doubting whether she was doing everything right.

“But doing something is better than just standing still.”

She said this to calm herself, then began to pour the distilled water into a flask. Afterward, she slowly mixed the liquids.

She quickly started chopping the ingredients with a knife and cutting board nearby.

She poured the liquids from the flask into a small pot and set it on a makeshift stove, thinking that she needed to finish prepping the ingredients before the pot started to boil.

Looking at the clock, she saw there were only two hours left until she needed to leave for school.

“Ah… time’s flying by.”

She sighed.

Then began to move her hands faster to hurry things along. Just as she was about to handle the death beans…

“Ah…!”

The beans began to stir uncontrollably and tried to slip from her hands. In the process, she accidentally cut her hand.

“Ah… why are you alive?”

She sighed and touched the beans with her wand. The beans, which had been alive, quickly died as they reacted to the magic.

“…Phew.”

She took a deep breath and placed the dead beans on the chopping board. She then healed her hand, which had been cut. Blood dripped onto the board, but she wiped it clean as she tended to her hand.

She then added the prepared beans to the pot, which was beginning to heat up. Next, she added the other ingredients in order.

To avoid the intense heat from the pot, she inserted a long rod and used her wand to stir it. As the wand spun, the rod inside the pot stirred according to the direction she moved it.

She watched the scene absently. About 30 minutes passed, and the dark liquid in the pot suddenly turned red.

“…It worked.”

She turned off the fire under the pot, leaving the completed potion there. She sighed as she spoke to herself.

“After getting ready…, I’ll drink it once it cools down.”

With that, she went to wash up.

After washing and finishing her preparations, Illein took the hair she had received from Melias yesterday. She closed the pot’s lid and transferred a small amount of the liquid into a long bottle.

As she placed Melias’s lustrous golden hair into the tiny bottle, the bright red liquid immediately turned into a pale pink color.

She stared at it, sighing. She had been wondering whether it was safe to drink, but…

“Still, drinking it is the right thing to do.”

She poured the love potion into her mouth, not fully aware of how powerful it might be. She still didn’t know how effective the love potion she had consumed would be.

She hadn’t gone to school yet, and she hadn’t met Melias in person, so there had been no immediate changes. She guessed she would need to meet him to see the full effect.

For now, she decided to shower and prepare for school. She took a cold shower to clear her mind.

The house was old, and the cold water was an unintentional benefit in the current situation. The cold energy washing over her body sharpened her senses.

As her mind cleared, she was able to think more rationally. She could now better grasp what she had done and what it meant.

Yet, despite that, she felt an overwhelming surge of energy and magic coursing through her body from Edwin’s visit.

And it wasn’t just cold.