I Just Wanted to Avoid Death - Chapter 138

“Ah. Han Yeseong? We only kept him around ‘cause he was smart. Like we’d ever actually like him.”

“I mean, we weren’t really a good match or anything… It was just convenient. He did a lot for me, y’know?”

“Han Yeseong? He was the type to hand over his liver and guts for someone he liked. Pathetic. Though hey, once you get sick of him, just dump him.”

When had it started?

In his past life, as Han Yeseong, Yeshion had always been on the losing side of love.

And after realizing it, he stopped dating altogether.

Even when someone approached with kind words and confessions, he could no longer open his heart. He was too afraid of getting hurt again. He might agree to date out of obligation, only to break it off quickly.

Because the experiences Han Yeseong had with love made him want to run from it. He didn’t want to hate the people he once loved. He didn’t want to be hated either.

So he ran.

And even now, as Yeshion, he was still running from the emotion called love.

At the sight of his uncertain expression, Eldis reached out and gently brushed the ends of his wet hair.

As the damp strands clung to Yeshion’s skin, he slowly raised his head.

Even without words, those clear, water-laced eyes revealed old wounds all too plainly.

‘Who on earth hurt you this deeply?’

Just brushing these delicate strands of hair with his fingertips made Eldis’s hand tremble like this. Who had torn into Yeshion with sharp words and cruelty?

Eldis swallowed the ache in his chest and finally opened his mouth slowly.

“You haven’t been useful all that often, really.”

“…Wh—what?!”

Yeshion’s face, which had been solemn and thoughtful, crumpled in an instant. How could he say that he wasn’t useful? Hadn’t he just said Yeshion had erased his weakness?

He looked up at Eldis with a dumbfounded expression, only for Eldis to gently wipe under his eye with his thumb.

As if to erase the traces of whatever had caused his eyes to flush red with unbidden emotion.

“It’s true, isn’t it? You’ve collapsed over ten times just because you couldn’t control your divine power properly in the Mishemol Duchy.”

“…..”

“Do you remember that you’ve probably spent more nights sleeping on my back than on your own bed?”

Yeshion shut his mouth tightly. He had nothing to say—it wasn’t wrong. He couldn’t even refute it.

After a long pause to find the right words, he finally mumbled in a sulky voice.

“Still… you said I erased your weakness, Archpriest.”

“Sure. That’s what first caught my attention. But it doesn’t mean the number of incidents and accidents you caused were any less.”

“When did I ever cause that many accidents?!”

“Don’t you remember? There was that time you suddenly followed the Crown Prince and set the whole temple into a panic.”

The unexpected reminder had Yeshion quickly sealing his lips. Now that Eldis mentioned it… Why did he think he was a useful person? He’d been nothing short of a walking disaster.

“So, you don’t need to worry about being abandoned if you become ‘useless.’”

“…That’s… supposed to be comforting, right?”

“Of course. Do you know who’s been keeping me sane all this time?”

As he said it, Eldis etched Yeshion’s face into his memory. He didn’t show it, but just having this conversation, by just sharing this moment, it brought him more joy than words could express.

That it wasn’t a dream broken by hallucinations or blissful delusions. That this moment was real.

That truth alone allowed Eldis to breathe easily and exist here.

‘Why…’

Why did Eldis look at him like that? What had happened after his death to make him speak this way now?

Yeshion couldn’t possibly know. All he could do was guess that Eldis had suffered far more than expected. That he had grieved deeply.

“Still… this time, I asked His Highness to get rid of the poison. So that won’t happen again.”

“…..”

“And I won’t be going to the Mishemol Duchy, either. So I shouldn’t be getting stabbed again.”

“Can you guarantee that?”

Eldis’s voice, as he asked, was sharper than usual.

“That’s…”

“I’ve already lost you once, Yeshion.”

“..…”

“And I never want to go through that again.”