I Just Wanted to Avoid Death - Chapter 148
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Yeshion, holding the spoon, looked quietly at Eldis. The face that had just worn such an unguarded expression in sleep was now composed, as usual.
As if that fleeting vulnerability had been a dream.
“Archpriest… have you ever felt lonely in your life?”
It was a sudden, unexpected question.
But Eldis wasn’t fazed. He sat across from Yeshion and answered calmly.
“Yes, I have.”
Yeshion asked, but hadn’t expected him to answer. He thought he would deflect, smile like he always did, and say something like “Of course not.”
But instead, Eldis rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and cleared his throat.
“……It feels strange. I’ve never said something so honestly before.”
“Your first time……?”
“Yes. I always thought saying something like that would create a weakness.”
“Th-then… why are you telling me?”
No matter how much he wasn’t the real “Yeshion,” it didn’t change the fact that he might betray him.
Not to mention, he hadn’t even escaped the bad side yet. The moment someone threatened his life, he might trade Eldis’s secret for survival.
So how could he trust him enough to speak honestly like this?
“Because I like you.”
“……”
“If you really were a bad person, and even if you told someone my secret, I’m sure there’d be a reason. From what I’ve seen of you so far, you are not that kind of person.”
The calm honesty in his voice made Yeshion’s face flush red.
The way Eldis spoke his feelings sounded almost like a confession, just in another form.
Before he knew it, Yeshion had curled his hand into a tight fist and bit down on the soft flesh inside his cheek.
How strange.
To think that someone who never revealed emotion or vulnerability to others… would be this sincere with him.
“Archpriest… Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
In those gently curving eyes was deep affection and trust. As if all the walls he’d built had long since crumbled.
Yeshion bit the inside of his cheek again.
“……I guess I’m not a good person after all.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because when you said that… I found myself wishing I was the only person you trusted.”
What a foolish thought.
Wanting to be the only one he believed in was arrogant, not something done for Eldis’s sake. If he truly cared for him, he should be helping him slowly open up to others.
But the first thing to rise after hearing Eldis’s sincerity had been a selfish, possessive desire.
‘I know I shouldn’t have such desires…’
Even though he’d been confessed to by both Adelio and Eldis, he hadn’t given either a clear answer. He was beginning to resent himself for staying ambiguous like this.
“I think… even in the future, you’ll be the only one I can show my true self to.”
“……What?”
“And the only one I love will still be you.”
He said he would try his best to persuade him.
Yeshion’s ears turned bright red as he stirred the soup, poking at it as if it were to blame.
Resting his chin in one hand, Eldis watched him like he was something precious, then added one more thing.
“From now on, I want to slowly show you what kind of person I really am.”
And slowly, make you fall deeper.
Like a snake winding its way from your toes to bind your ankles, tightening around your chest until your breath is gone…
Even if he one day learns the dark truth, that all Eldis ever wanted was to devour him whole, he still won’t be able to run.
* * *
That afternoon, Yeshion left the temple and, unlike yesterday, decided to wander through the shadier alleys.
‘In novels and movies, the bad guys always hang around dark alleys, after all.’
So when he’d walked through a few of them, a dull ache suddenly throbbed through his lower back.
Eldis hadn’t been lying when he said the pain would ease by afternoon.
But there was no escaping this insane muscle soreness climbing all over his body.
“If I ever do this again, I swear……”
If it ever happens again, he was absolutely not going to move the day after.
Just as he was shuffling through the alleys at a much slower pace, someone walked up and smacked him hard on the back.
“Hey, why aren’t you at the meeting? What are you doing here?”
