In the Doghouse - Chapter 177
Courtney lay flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling. After crying her heart out, she felt dizzy, and the physician, whom Richard had summoned in a panic, had already left.
She spoke again, her gaze steady on the ceiling.
“So?”
“That night… I really did set fire to the annex. Thankfully, someone discovered it quickly.”
Richard recounted an old story. Though everyone in the palace knew of these tales, no one ever dared speak of them aloud.
He talked, and she listened, making it a conversation of sorts, though they weren’t facing each other. Richard sat with his back to the bed, facing the wall as he rambled on. Harsh as it was, he was grateful he hadn’t been thrown out. He was willing to endure this.
Courtney gave a sarcastic laugh.
“It’s a miracle you weren’t beaten to death by His Majesty.”
“True. Even if the entire annex had burned down, he wouldn’t have killed me… because of my mother.”
Courtney glanced at the back of Richard’s head, then returned her gaze to the patterns on the ceiling.
Richard’s history of misdeeds was so extensive that even staying up all night might not cover it all. She mentally sorted through everything he’d confessed, trying to place his various exploits in a rough timeline.
The pranks he’d played as a child on his tutors and the palace servants—too extreme to simply call ‘pranks’, actually—were one thing, but flipping over the council chamber or causing a scene before foreign envoys… these were recent events. How had he managed to keep it all hidden?
She voiced her question more bluntly.
“How did you hide all that? It’s a miracle you haven’t been dethroned.”
Richard let out a laugh. She was probably the only person who’d ever speak to him this way. And he couldn’t deny it.
“If I had a younger sibling, I probably would have been.”
How proud he sounded. Courtney shot a withering glare at the back of his head.
The fantasy of a prince on a white horse had long faded, and now she could finally see his vulnerable—and yes, vile—human side. Thinking back on it, she now understood the vague sense of disconnect she’d often felt.
His position as crown prince since birth and his mother’s absence had undeniably shaped his personality. Perhaps his peculiar and twisted desires, too.
He sought constant control, attention, and even punishment for his mistakes, while also longing to be coddled and adored.
At its core, all his desires boiled down to a simple, insatiable need for unconditional love.
Of course, there was more to it—he had an insatiable drive, too.
In the hazy fog of her thoughts, she felt like she was seeing a way out. She decided to voice the question that had been stuck in her mind.
“Richard.”
“Yes?”
“Which would you prefer—the ‘master’ I’ve been to you, or the me who loves you?”
Richard, taken aback, turned to look at her without thinking. But as soon as he met her fiery gaze, he quickly looked back to the wall. He stared at it with such intensity that it seemed he might bore a hole through it.
“Do I… really have to choose?”
Courtney’s silence was her answer. Richard fell into deep thought.
Courtney… loves me?
It made his chest flutter in a strange and pleasant way, though he didn’t know exactly what it meant. Courtney as his ‘master’? That didn’t require any thought at all.
But what mattered most wasn’t either of those. He spoke quietly, letting his heart be known.
“…Even if it’s neither, it’s fine. As long as you don’t leave me.”
Hearing his answer, Courtney realized there was something she should’ve asked first. Without hesitation, she asked him directly.
“Do you love me?”
Once again, Richard couldn’t answer immediately. He hesitated between a decent reply and an honest one, finally deciding to tell the truth.
“I… I’m not sure. I don’t really know what love is.”
Courtney had already guessed, yet she couldn’t help but feel disappointed. She couldn’t define love herself, but still…
Richard slumped his shoulders and spoke again, gathering his words.
“If you want it, I’d give you my heart… but I don’t know if that’s what love is. Maybe I’m just a… twisted fool.”
He felt utterly foolish, perhaps for the first time in his life. Like he’d told her before, he would change if he could, anything to avoid losing her.
Courtney blinked up at the ceiling, dryly remarking,
“Well, keep your heart where it belongs.”
Richard, rejected even in this, fell silent, his spirit visibly deflated.
Courtney folded her hands over her belly and asked him another important question.
“Do you want to be a good father?”
When Richard stayed silent again, Courtney felt her irritation flare. She understood that he was feeling low, but was there nothing he could answer confidently?
Before she could snap at him, he replied in a low, broken voice.
“I… I’ll try. If you’re there to guide me… I’ll do my best.”
Please don’t leave me. Barely able to muster the courage, Richard lowered his head to his knees.
Courtney let out a long sigh, looking at him hunched over like a frightened child. She stroked her now slightly rounded belly. Looks like she’d have to raise her husband before the baby arrives. Family luck really wasn’t on her side, she thought as she gazed down.
