Deal Breaker - Chapter 84
“Anyway, I’m really, really sorry I forgot the contraceptive shot.”
“If you’re sorry, then you can take responsibility by marrying me, Hyeji-ya.”
“You said earlier I didn’t have to be sorry.”
While Kanghyeon was lost in thought, Hyeji tried to wrap up the conversation on her own and leave. Even so, Hyeji’s six steps were only Kanghyeon’s three. He strode past her and leaned against the door.
“If me taking responsibility makes you uncomfortable because it reminds you of your biological father, then you can take responsibility for me instead.”
That or this. He knew it was absurd sophistry, but Kanghyeon was desperate enough to blurt it out anyway.
“To you, Director, what I’m sorry for is forgetting contraception. A work related mistake. But why repay that with something private like marriage?”
“Right. Our Hyeji is smart. They say if the mother is smart, the baby will be smart too.”
“I’ll make it up to the child by giving birth and raising them with love and without letting them lack anything.”
She really leaves no opening at all.
To begin with, there is no rational reason for marriage. Therefore, there is no rational way to persuade someone. Just as others had failed to persuade Kanghyeon, Kanghyeon failed to persuade Hyeji.
Then, just as he had, Hyeji would have to find her own reason to marry through her own turning point. If she never found one, no, even if she chose not to find one, that too would be Hyeji’s choice.
And Kanghyeon couldn’t persuade her with words. He had to prove it with actions.
“An Esper who can’t live without you went right up to the brink of a rampage and came back, so saying things like this probably makes it even harder to believe. It probably sounds like I’m trying to cling to you no matter what. Like some dark, ugly obsession.”
“Yes, honestly, I can’t say I don’t get that impression.”
“Right. If it feels like I’m an Esper trying to bind my Guide through marriage, then we don’t have to get married.”
One step.
“If you’re afraid I’m the kind of man who makes empty promises and then runs away without keeping them, then I’ll even give up the child.”
Another step. He had retreated a great deal, but there was a line Kanghyeon couldn’t retreat past.
“I love you. Please, at least believe that.”
“……”
“That would be enough for me.”
Hyeji didn’t answer.
“While you were figuring out your feelings and even sort them out, I failed to realize my own. If that’s my fault, then it’s my fault. I’m sorry I realized it late, but…”
Kanghyeon grabbed Hyeji’s shoulders, her lips stubbornly pressed together, and met her eyes from close up.
“Do you really have no feelings for me at all?”
The more desperately he looked at her, the more Hyeji’s eyes wavered in confusion. Maybe she needed time alone to look into her own heart.
“Take your time and think about it.”
He gave her time, yet she still opened her mouth. His premonition that it wouldn’t be the answer he hoped for was correct.
“I like you as my boss, as my matching Esper, and as a person named Han Kanghyeon, but…”
Hyeji simply repeated what she had already said, like a parrot.
“As a man, as a husband, as a father, I don’t know.”
“Do you know how much hope I’m clinging to that ‘I don’t know’?”
As Hyeji immediately tried to speak again, Kanghyeon covered her mouth with his hand. He didn’t need to use mind reading to know she was about to speak just to crush that hope completely.
Without even seriously thinking it through once.
“Noh Hyeji, why are you so cruel?”
He didn’t need kindness that was cruel in its own way.
“I have my pride too. How miserable do you want to make me? What did I do wrong?”
“…I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault, Director.”
“I was only afraid this contract would make you regret things. I never thought you’d be the one to make me regret.”
He withdrew the hand that had been gripping her shoulders and covered his own eyes with one hand. Half his face disappeared. Yet the emotions he was feeling came through more clearly than ever.
He had seen everything, things he should not have seen and things he should have, and just yesterday he had even seen him with tears in his eyes. But this was the first time he had ever looked this hurt.
“Director…”
She called out to him but couldn’t say anything else. This was her first time facing something like this, and she didn’t know what she should say. Her mind was a blank white page.
“I’m sorry, but…”
Hyeji chose and chose again the words that were, in her own mind, the most honest and the least cruel, before finally opening her mouth.
“I like things the way they are.”
“But I don’t.”
The hand with veins standing out fell away. His eyes, which had been tightly shut, only opened after a long while, and they were looking somewhere other than Hyeji.
His chest swelled until the white shirt stretched tight. Kanghyeon swallowed hard enough that his adam’s apple bobbed visibly, then bit down on his always smooth lips until deep marks were left. Only then did he say the words to Hyeji that he never wanted to say.
“Noh Hyeji-ssi, the Guide contract is terminated as of this moment due to breach of contract. As for your position as secretary, resign once a replacement is found.”
