Garden of May

Chapter 73

Her heart plummeted at the look in his eyes. Like a dog desperate for its master’s approval, assigning meaning to every gesture, every flick of the wrist. She feared he might call a halt to everything, finding it all tedious and bothersome.

So many unspoken words clamored within her. This wasn’t part of our agreement, was it? Accepting a ‘gift’ like this…isn’t it practically payment? This creates an imbalance, doesn’t it?

But before she could voice a single word, a cool voice cut through the air. “If it’s so offensive, so unnecessary, then throw it away.”

“How can I…?”

His gaze, icy and dismissive, silenced her protest. Perhaps he was right; perhaps she was overreacting. Was this commonplace between men and women in the capital? Perhaps River Ross showered every fleeting acquaintance with such lavish gifts.

“Aren’t you going?”

Vanessa’s head snapped up. He seemed done with the topic, his expression growing strained with the prolonged silence. Panic tightened her chest. Just moments ago, everything had been perfect, before her own needless sensitivity had poisoned the mood.

Acting before thought, she stepped closer, hesitantly reaching out to grasp his sleeve. “Don’t be angry.”

He remained silent.

“We were having such a lovely time. We can talk about this later. Let’s not let it spoil the evening.”

Theodore slowly exhaled. The heavy weight that had settled upon him, thick and suffocating as treacle, vanished as he looked at her. Its absence left him feeling strangely hollow. Vanessa clearly had no idea how she looked at him, or perhaps she simply didn’t know what it looked like to love someone.

The women he knew meticulously concealed their feelings—their expressions, actions, words. They feared their love would be seen as a weakness, that he would see them as easy. Even if their affections eventually became evident, they aimed to extract the highest price possible until then. That was the cheap, tawdry kind of love he knew. But then…

“Hold my hand.”

Such a small request. They had shared so much more, yet her hand, clinging awkwardly to his sleeve, trembled.

If this display was all pretense, all a lie, then surely purity didn’t exist in the world.

He impulsively clasped her small hand in his. He spread her delicate fingers and intertwined them with his own, larger ones. Vanessa’s held breath slowly released. Relief softened her features, and a tentative smile touched her lips.

The rapid beat of her heart pulsed against his skin. She seemed to have abandoned all attempts at concealing her feelings. Theodore, unaware of the smile that spread across his own face, swallowed the unexpected warmth that blossomed in his chest. At this rate, he was certain to win their summer wager. And what prize would he demand?

“Oh!” A soft gasp broke through his thoughts. Vanessa tilted her head back, her face alight with excitement.

Lanterns advertising the circus drifted across the night sky, interspersed with the sputtering bursts of cheap fireworks. The smell of greasy food from street vendors filled the air. Such simple things brought color to her cheeks and a wide smile to her face.

“River, did you see that? A butterfly firework!”

“Yes. I saw it.”

“Liar. You were looking at me.”

He’d offered a conciliatory response, but her unexpected retort caught him off guard. A chuckle escaped his lips. She continued to surprise him.

She was quick to gauge his moods, yet stubbornly unyielding in other ways. Her eagerness to please, born from a longing for affection, was both irritating and endearing.

Poor, yet dignified. She still believed in justice, and though she seemed fragile, her spirit remained unbroken. Perhaps it was better to mold her body to his, to accustom her to him, than to waste time on reason and persuasion.