Chapter 188

The loose sleeves of his hanging shirt swayed, and his silver hair fluttered near his forehead. His violet eyes curved into crescent moons.

His unrestrained laughter hit her senses without warning, both visually and audibly.

I have never seen you laugh like this before. I swear, not even once.

A strange emotion swirled within her—neither the anger she was entitled to feel from their past nor the fluttering excitement typical of a young girl her age.

It wasn’t love or anything of that sort. It was pure shock.

Who had I even lived with in the past?

What had you lost because of me?

‘You… could have smiled like that all along.’

It felt as if she’d been hit hard on the head, leaving her dizzy.

Logan, who had been laughing so openly, quickly supported her.

“Are you alright?”

“…Didn’t I tell you I wanted to leave?”

She had intended just to nod, but her mouth betrayed her, spilling words tinged with resentment.

Cecilia stood up abruptly, and Logan didn’t manage to stop her. She thought she heard him mutter an apology, but she couldn’t quite hear him.

All she knew was that she needed to leave, to clear her thoughts somewhere away from him, so she could think rationally.

But she didn’t get far before her body gave out.

‘Damn this body. Can’t I even handle this much?’

Since her return to the past, these incidents had become more frequent. Was it some kind of side effect?

Cecilia bit her lip and placed a hand on the ground to steady herself. A hand reached out in front of her.

“…”

Logan knelt before her, meeting her gaze. Her tense eyelids trembled.

“I’m sorry.”

Reluctantly, Cecilia took his hand and allowed him to help her stand.

“I’ll go to the carriage.”

“Your carriage isn’t here yet.”

“No, I had it waiting.”

“I didn’t hear any hooves. If you go now, you’ll find only your maid waiting.”

“How sharp are your ears even…”

Cecilia grumbled, but Logan ignored her and sat her back down on the bench.

“…?”

She glanced at the hand that had helped her up.

“Let go of me now.”

His grip was firm, not letting go. She hated being held forcefully, and she was on the verge of threatening to scream.

“…Like this?”

His thumb pressed inward, gently massaging the center of her palm.

“Ah…!”

There was no need to threaten—the pain was sharp enough to elicit a cry from her.

“I apologize. I’m not good at controlling my strength.”

Her eyes, slightly wet from the pain, glared at him instinctively. Logan wasn’t laughing anymore. His expression had returned to its usual calm as he methodically pressed down on her hand.

“Where did you learn this?”

“For sailors, it’s basic knowledge. We often have stomach problems, poor circulation.”

“Does that apply to you too?”

She found it hard to imagine Logan Harper, with his tall, muscular frame, being laid up with illness.

“Sometimes.”

“That’s surprising…”

“Cecilia, I’m human too.”

“Even more surprising…”

Logan’s lips curved into a smile but quickly flattened again.

“Have you seen a doctor?”

“No. It’s just overexertion.”

“You should see one.”

She didn’t recall being diagnosed with any serious illness around this time. Even if she did see a doctor, they would probably just say it was stress.

Cecilia gave a half-hearted reply of agreement.

As Logan focused on her hand, their conversation naturally slowed. A soft spring breeze drifted by.

“Are you cold?”

“No.”

“Is the pain gone?”

“It’s bearable.”

Their brief exchanges continued, breaking the silence intermittently. After a long pause, Logan spoke again.

“Half a year feels longer than I thought.”

“Really? It flew by for me.”

He chuckled dryly.

“I even sent you letters.”

“I never got them.”

“I also sent word when I heard you were coming to the capital.”

“I didn’t hear about that either.”

The conversation mirrored one they had shared in their past life, only with the roles reversed.

“I thought of you often over the past six months. For the first time, the sea felt suffocating.”

“It’s common for people to suddenly miss someone when they’re surrounded by nothing but the open sea.”

“But it was only you who I thought of.”

“That can’t be true.”

Cecilia sneered cynically.

“You have a lover, after all.”

At that, Logan’s hand froze.

“…?”

“Now that I think about it, that’s one of the things I regret.”

Logan looked up at her, his expression serious.

“I don’t have a lover. I only have a fiancée.”

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