Holy Night: My Husband is Definitely a Paladin - Chapter 350
TL: Elphie / PR: Mikan
[Where have you been?!]
âI was with Michael, of course.â
[Then you shouldâve come to find me sooner!]
âWell, uh⌠there were some circumstances.â
At Ireneâs vague answer, one of Chomp-chompâs other tentacles gave a knowing nod.
[Ah, right. You two were in a good mood.]
ââŚAhem.â
Irene cleared her throat awkwardly at Chomp-chompâs pointed remark.
âMore importantly, where are we? What were you two doing here?â
[WellâŚ]
Before Chomp-chomp could respond, the Hand of Appraisal suddenly bounced up and down in place, frantically writing in the air:
– There! My body is over there!
Irene turned her gaze in the direction the Hand was indicating.
Before her stretched a sheer cliff. Far below, she could just make out something large lying at the base.
At first, it was hidden beneath a cloud-like fog, but as time passed, the wind began to blow, and the clouds slowly cleared, revealing what lay below the cliff.
âThatâs⌠your body?â
– Indeed! Magnificent, isnât it?
The Hand of Appraisal puffed up with pride, practically beaming.
But Irene could only stare, mouth agape, down the sheer drop.
Calling it a âcliffâ didnât quite do it justice. The gap between this side and the other was wide enough to fit an entire plain. In fact, âcliffâ wasnât the right word at allâit was more like a canyon wedged between two mountain ranges, so vast and absurd in scale that it defied belief.
In between the cliffs was what looked like a giant chunk of flesh, so huge it filled the chasm nearly to the brim.
âHe always bragged about how big his body was, but this is justâŚâ
Irene recalled that she had once asked the Hand of Appraisal what his original body looked like, back when sheâd first promised to help him find it.
– My body? Oh, itâs fantastic. One of the most alluring forms in the entire monster realm! Three heads, five legs, seventeen arms, but forty hands!
Irene didnât quite understand which part of it was supposed to be âalluringâ, but she nodded anyway. At the very least, it was certainly⌠unique.
Still, she couldnât wrap her head around how a creature with 17 arms could somehow have 40 hands. Where were the rest of them attached?
– And while I may not be quite as squishy as that blob Chomp-chomp, I do have a sizable form! Why, monsters from across dimensions lined up just to court me!
[And what good did that do you? You got flattened anyway. All thatâs left is your wrist.]
– Silence, you worm!
[Donât call me a worm! You look like dried squid with a grudge!]
As usual, the two broke into one of their bickering matches, so the rest of the explanation was lost in their squabble. Still, Irene at least understood one thing: the Hand of Appraisalâs original body was indeed massive.
Far more massive than she expected.
âBut why are you two just sitting here? Now that youâve found the body, canât you just go to it?â
[Well, about thatâŚ]
Chomp-chomp uncoiled a new tendril and slowly extended it down toward the giant, slumbering mass wedged between the cliffs.
Just as Chomp-chompâs tendril was getting close enough, suddenlyâ
Whirrick!
A vine appeared out of nowhere and swiftly coiled around Chomp-chompâs tendril, wrapping it tightly.
Chomp-chomp bit off their own tendril to escape, but the vine still held onto the remaining part firmly and dragged it away somewhere.
[Ouch, ouch! Did you see that? If we get too close, it attacks us like that.]
At those words, Ireneâs expression hardened.
Chomp-chomp was a monster with very high miasma. For something to be able to attack even Chomp-chomp meant that this vineâs magic power was equal to or even higher than theirs.
âIt sounds like a monster we donât know. Just how strong is its miasma…?â
[Thatâs not the miasma of the monster itself. I think itâs borrowing the mana by using part of a high-level beingâs body. The proof is that it only blocks us. It canât actually kill us, you see?]
âSo even if I get close, itâll just block me but wonât harm me?â
[Exactly. But that doesnât change anything. To cut those vines off and recover the body, His Majesty really needs to be there.]
It was true.
There was no one here who could surpass the magic power and energy of the Monster King, Michael.
As if sensing everyoneâs thoughts, the vine slowly crept forward and grabbed Irene, Chomp-chomp, and the Hand of Appraisal, lifting them up.
[Waaah! Let me go!]
While Chomp-chomp panicked, Irene remained calm.
Since she decided not to move, the vine was only holding her body but couldnât drag her away.
And if her intuition was right, Michael should have returned by now.
âThen heâll come looking for me any moment.â
If he saw her like this, heâd probably tear the vine apart before anyone could say a word.
So Irene spoke calmly.
âEveryone, just hold on a little longer. Michael should be here soon.â
And just as Irene had predicted, Michael, who had been staring blankly for a moment, finally moved his hand.
âHow dare some insignificant vine lay a hand on my wife?â
He shouted angrily as he spoke.
Ireneâs body immediately fell toward the ground. Of course, before she hit the floor, Michael caught her in his arms.
âIrene.â
Perhaps because she had left him, his voice trembled.
But Irene showed no fear at all; she kissed his cheek and said,
âLetâs argue later. For now, please do what we promised.â
At her words, Michael turned his head away.
After all, he was the kind of man who did whatever Irene asked him to do.
