I Just Wanted to Avoid Death - Chapter 183
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“Priest Yeshion, you’re really… how can someone that kind even survive in this world?”
At Eldis’s remark, Veronica, slumped on the floor, let out a hollow breath.
All she could think was that he was spouting nonsense while holding her prisoner, but the look on Eldis’s face as he said it was unmistakably that of a man in love.
“Do you think you scum could dare to insult him!” [1]
Eldis ignored her entirely, leisurely selecting a torture tool. But finding nothing to his liking, he sighed, dragged over a chair, and sat down right in front of her.
That was the moment Veronica sliced through her ropes with a hidden dagger and lunged.
“You really are a nuisance.”
The instant Eldis muttered those words, a cold gleam flashed in his eyes, and Veronica’s crimson pupils, once burning with fury, went glassy and unfocused.
* * *
Rosaline gently dabbed ointment onto Yeshion’s bruised cheek. The swelling had turned the skin purplish, and the inside of his mouth was torn, leaving a metallic tang of blood.
He hadn’t even realized how much it hurt until now.
‘So that’s what fear does…’
It numbs you until you feel nothing.
Now, he thought he might understand the real Yeshion’s feelings, just a little.
“All done.”
Rosaline smiled as he finished applying the ointment. Yeshion thanked him, though his mind was clearly somewhere else.
“What are you thinking so hard about? Is it… that you’re thinking about Eldis?”
“Ah, mm… yes. I was just wondering, if he goes too far, what if he ends up receiving Divine Punishment again…”
“Divine Punishment?”
“The temple teaches us to love others, right? So I was wondering… Is it really okay to torture someone using Divine Power?”
At that, Rosaline blinked like he was hearing something completely foreign. He’d always said he tuned out anything to do with divine power, and now it seemed that wasn’t a lie.
“Don’t worry about Divine Punishment. It’s incredibly rare, and it’s just as hard to escape as it is to receive.”
“……Really?”
“Of course. People make mistakes all the time, and lie and sin constantly. Priests aren’t much different. In the end, we’re just people too.”
“……”
“Consider me, for example. I’m deceiving not only the people, but the Emperor too.”
Rosaline pointed at himself.
Despite being a man, he lived pretending to be a woman, pretending to be the Saintess. By strict doctrine, that alone could be considered a grave sin worthy of punishment.
And yet, Rosaline had never suffered Divine Punishment.
‘Come to think of it…’
Even in the real Yeshion’s memories, there were plenty of corrupt priests. Some took bribes behind senior priests’ backs, others sold holy water on the black market.
‘So what then is the criteria for Divine Punishment…?
He’d have to ask Eldis later.
While he was thinking that, Rosaline posed a lighthearted question.
“So then, how about we stop worrying about Eldis and go enjoy the festival together?”
“The festival?”
“Yep! We caught Veronica, Eldis finished the blessing, the Imperial Procession is over… So let’s go!”
Yeshion looked quietly at Rosaline’s cheerful face.
Yeshion hesitated, then lowered his eyes and spoke.
“Saintess… are you okay?”
“Huh? With what?”
“Veronica found out, didn’t she? That you’re not a woman.”
“Ah.”
With a short exhale, Rosaline scratched his head. It seemed he hadn’t really thought about it before. Crossing his arms, he pondered aloud.
“Mm… I mean, won’t Eldis take care of it?”
“…Sorry?”
“Well, my fate was already in Eldis’s hands from the moment I arrived at the temple.”
Rosaline sank deep into his chair, casually swinging his legs, as if he had long since decided not to hold on to any will he had left.
Yeshion found himself staring, mouth slightly ajar.
“You’re really… okay with that?”
“Huh? With what?”
“Living your whole life as the ‘Saintess.’”
Rosaline immediately understood the meaning behind Yeshion’s words.
He let out a small exhale. Yeshion looked down, continuing quietly.
“I know it’s probably safer if your identity stays hidden. But if that’s the case, then… you won’t get to live under your real name for the rest of your life.”
There was always something that weighed on Yeshion when he looked at Rosaline.
Someone living behind a false name and mask.
In the story, there was never much reflection on how he felt about being the Saintess. Even at the end, “Venice” was still called “Rosaline.”
Neither Eldis nor Adelio ever called him by his real name.
And because he never once heard Rosaline’s true thoughts, it bothered him even more.
What if he didn’t want to be called “Rosaline” anymore, and wished to exist as “Venice?”
If that’s what he wanted, then wasn’t there some way to make that happen?
He wanted to think about that with him. Together.
Translation notes:
[1] ↩
