I Just Wanted to Avoid Death - Chapter 78

No. There was no way he felt something like that. No butterflies, no childish excitement, no urge to kiss him, no tender warmth.

‘But…’

Whenever Yeshion wasn’t around, Eldis found himself looking for him. Whenever he heard his voice, he couldn’t help but listen. And whenever he saw a side of him that differed from the “Yeshion” he used to know, he found himself smiling—softly, without realizing.

So what, then—what was this feeling? How could it possibly be defined?

The moment he questioned himself, the answer sprang to his mind like it had been waiting all along.

Eldis squeezed his eyes shut and dragged a dry hand across his face.

“Oh god…”

If he hadn’t seen that lewd, tearful face, would he have felt like this? Or—if it hadn’t been him, the one who erased his deepest weakness—would his heart still ache like this?

Even as the feeling burrowed deep into his chest, sticky and unrelenting, Eldis continued to deny it.

* * *

Late into the night.

Yeshion, who had been flinching at every rustle of fabric, eventually passed out from sheer exhaustion.

He’d been worn out all day. The distance between the capital and the Mishemol Duchy was no short trek, and the moment he arrived, he was hounded by Edward.

With the fragile stamina of the “Yeshion” he now inhabited, it was no surprise he fell asleep like a man who had collapsed.

“Mmm…”

Trying to sleep in a makeshift tent wasn’t comfortable in the slightest.

He stirred multiple times in his sleep, shifting restlessly beneath the heavy feeling pressing on his body—almost like sleep paralysis.

“Yeshion.”

The moment a voice dropped from above his head, his eyes flew open—meeting a pair of pale blue eyes staring directly into his own.

“W-What… mmph!”

Before he could even cry out, a large hand clamped tightly over his mouth.

“Edw—mmph!”

“Q-Quiet! Shh, quiet, quiet! The A-Archpriest’s got sharp ears…”

“Mmph! Mmmph!”

“H-Hehe… last time too… w-we got caught by him, remember? R-Right?”

Like hell I do!

Yeshion twisted his half-frozen limbs frantically, but Edward held him down with brute strength.

He felt sick.

Revulsion and fear swelled up inside him, but Edward only giggled like a madman.

“Stay still, baby. Yeah? Earlier, there were t-too many priests nearby, s-so you had to pretend you didn’t want to. R-Right?”

Even as he asked, he didn’t let go of Yeshion’s mouth. Like he didn’t want a real answer—like the truth would only get in the way.

“Tonight, let’s finally become one. Hm? W-We couldn’t back then, right? And after that, we’ll go to my father together—h-hand in hand. You’ll leave the temple, and I-I’ll take you as my man.”

Watching him mutter to himself with a twisted grin, Yeshion was certain now—Edward wasn’t like a lunatic. He was one.

Regardless of Yeshion’s struggling, Edward began yanking at his clothes with rough hands.

The moment his pale shoulder was exposed, Edward let out a breathy gasp of euphoria—then lowered his face and sank his teeth into the skin.

“Ahk!”

A cry tore from Yeshion’s throat as pain seared through him. In a burst of instinct, he twisted hard and shoved Edward off.

With a crash, Edward tumbled off the bed. Yeshion didn’t waste the opportunity—he dove for the dagger hidden beneath his pillow.

But he couldn’t bring himself to stab Edward. He didn’t have the resolve to take a life.

So instead—

“W-What are you doing?”

The blade in Yeshion’s trembling hand wasn’t aimed at Edward, it was aimed at himself.

If he touched the duke’s second son, there was no telling what chaos would follow.

And worst of all, that chaos wouldn’t fall on him. It would fall on Eldis and Rosaline. They’d be forced to clean up the mess.

Yeshion didn’t want to cause them any more trouble.

If we really were lovers, maybe this kind of threat will make him back off…

Swallowing hard, Yeshion stared at him. Edward giggled again.

“Ha… h-haha… what are you doing, Y-Yeshion?”

“…D-Don’t come any closer. If you do, I’ll—I’ll do it.”

Edward staggered as he rose, wobbling toward him.

“I-I told you before… if you draw a blade, then you should b-be ready to kill or die…”

And just like that, his unsteady steps vanished.

In one swift motion, he lunged forward and reached out—

“Shi—No!”

The moment Edward grabbed for his wrist, hand trembling around the dagger—another blade touched the man’s throat.

“Take one more step, and your head will fall.”

The voice was low. Ice-cold.

Over Edward’s shoulder stood Eldis, unrestrained killing intent radiating off of him in waves.