I Wish You Well In Your Next Love, My Love

“Go home. Before I send the blanket back too.”

When I covered my mouth with the back of my hand and gave a small yawn, Gerard buried his lips in my hair and murmured,

“It feels like it’ll open, but it won’t.”

“What does?”

“Your heart.”

He lightly pressed his fingertips against the area over my heart between my b*****s, then released it.

…Wait. Weren’t we being far too natural about touching each other?

And I was accepting it far too familiarly.

In my case, it could be blamed on the force of habit from seven years of dating, but Gerard was practically in a state where he had no romantic experience at all.

He didn’t realize it himself, but for a man who supposedly had never been with a woman, he was far too skilled and proactive with physical affection.

Had he acted this way with Arvina too?

I had no way of knowing how he behaved when they were alone, but at least in front of me, I had never once seen him act like this with her.

“You’re thinking about something else again.”

He kissed one of my eyelids. I closed and opened my right eye as though winking and said,

“…I’m sleepy.”

“I’ll stop bothering you. Let’s get you to bed.”

“Aren’t you leaving?”

“I’ll put my darling to bed… no, I’ll put you to bed and then leave.”

Gerard hurriedly corrected the term of endearment that had slipped out without thought. It was a name he hadn’t used again since the time I burst into tears.

My heart dropped for a moment too.

I resisted the force gently leading me toward the bed and remained standing.

“I, I normally can’t sleep well when someone else is here. So please go home now, my lord.”

“…Alright.”

After seeing Gerard off at the front door as he obediently withdrew, I remained alone, unable even to carelessly lie down on the soft winter blanket. I only stared down at the bed with a grave expression.

‘His memories aren’t returning, are they?’

Whether I should call it fortunate or not, Gerard didn’t seem suspicious of anything apart from behaving far too intimately with me.

Considering he hadn’t asked me about Arvina failing to purify him during the previous practicum, he didn’t seem particularly concerned about that either.

No. These days, it seemed he wasn’t even trying to recover his lost memories at all.

‘Perhaps this is for the best.’

Escaping the past in which he had been buried and living in the present. Completely forgetting me and living a life in which I had never existed.

That was what I ultimately wished for, and the true ending in which Gerard’s unhappiness would finally disappear completely.

I only needed to be careful not to let our relationship deepen any further.

“Haa, I can’t… breathe.”

My chest felt strangely tight, so I opened the window. Even as the cold wind seemed to slice across my skin, I kept my face outside for a long time.

* * *

When was the last time I bought clothes?

I searched through my hazy memories.

I think it was when I came of age at eighteen. Coming of age, when one stepped out from beneath a guardian’s protection, became responsible for oneself, and gained the freedom to choose, held a special meaning for anyone. It was the same for me.

Of course, both my parents had died when I was eight, so I had already lived my life outside anyone’s protection.

Nothing would change significantly before or after I came of age, but even so, I felt strangely excited.

Besides, Gerard and I back then were a little… extremely, worked up.

When we first started dating, merely holding hands made our hearts feel as though they might burst, and on days when our shoulders so much as brushed, we were both so embarrassed that our faces ripened bright red like carrots.

But as we grew older, we gradually began wanting more. Every day, we did nothing but kiss while eagerly waiting for the day the restrictions would be lifted, and at last, the long-awaited day of my coming of age arrived.

My birthday was earlier than Gerard’s, so I became an adult first. Back then, I had enjoyed treating Gerard like a much younger little brother and teasing him.

While everyone else was busy holding coming-of-age banquets and such, I bought a single outfit for myself.

Unlike before, when I bundled myself up as though exposing any skin would kill me, it was a dress that revealed my collarbones.

“Hey, even my twelve-year-old sister wears that much!”

Chelsea teased me, but for who I was back then, it had been quite a daring choice.

“I’m going to start being a little less proper from now on.”

“Hah, please don’t do this.”

Unlike Chelsea’s ridicule, it worked effectively on Gerard. As though he could barely endure it, he clenched his teeth and dragged a hand down his face.

As though that wasn’t enough, he abruptly began doing push-ups in the cramped house, sweating profusely.