I Wish You Well In Your Next Love, My Love - Chapter 44
“And one more thing.”
At the sudden voice, I stepped wrong and staggered. Just as I was about to fall, he grabbed me firmly, almost roughly.
“Be careful. If you’re going to be like this, just get on my back quietly.”
I lifted my head and looked at his face.
“What else is there to think about?”
“……”
“Tell me. Why did you stop talking.”
When I grabbed the hem of his clothes and kept tugging it downward, he reluctantly opened his mouth.
“I don’t dream.”
Dream?
“Since I lost my memories, I’ve had the same dream every single day. A dream where nothing comes to mind when I actually wake up. All that remains is a sense of loss and helplessness. Just scraps of emotions like that.”
Even I, who had thoroughly searched through every rumor about Gerard, was hearing this for the first time.
So there had been other aftereffects besides memory loss and the trembling in his hand.
My heart sank.
“Since coming to your house, I haven’t had that dream. Do you think that’s really a coincidence.”
“……”
Standing at the entrance of a dark alley, Gerard turned back toward me with the streetlamp behind him.
“You.”
“……”
“Have we really never met before?”
A cold wind gently stirred Gerard’s hair. Even though his gaze looked loosely relaxed, I couldn’t let my guard down.
Maybe because of the alcohol, but the distance between Gerard and me seemed to be getting closer and closer. Just a moment ago I had to tilt my head all the way back to see his sharp jawline, but now I only needed to lift my eyes.
Twisting the body he was holding slightly, I said,
“I’m from the same temple as Arvina…”
“Not Arvina.”
“……”
“You and me. I’m asking about us.”
The hand gripping my shoulder stubbornly refused to let go.
Can someone get drunk just from a voice?
At the low words he murmured, my brain felt damp and unable to function properly.
My reason was slipping further and further away.
Then, the bag hanging from his right hand dropped to the ground.
“Ugh.”
“Gerard?”
His right hand had gone into a spasm.
He cursed under his breath and clenched his fist tightly.
“Can you lean here for a moment?”
He carefully made me lean my back against the wall.
It didn’t look like it was just a spasm. The pain seemed considerable. From the veins bulging on the back of his hand, they ran up along his wrist and rose sharply all the way to his thick neck.
He already looked used to his own disability.
As if he knew there was no other way except to wait for the spasm to pass, he simply endured it silently with his teeth clenched.
Even though the trembling hadn’t completely faded, he picked up my bag from the ground.
I quietly watched Gerard’s profile with confused eyes.
The nightmares that tormented him every day, the absence of his memories, and even the trembling in his hand.
I was the one who abandoned him. I was the one who betrayed him.
So why was Gerard the only one bearing all the pain.
A guilt that I would never be able to shake off no matter how long I struggled pressed heavily on my chest.
It had already been three years since I left him in that pain.
I was turning away from Gerard while staking everything on the uncertain future that it would all be resolved if only I could have received the Ascension Rite.
The truth behind the memories he had lost was a selfish and cowardly traitor.
I couldn’t bear how pitiful Gerard looked, trying so hard to find someone like me.
With wet eyes, I walked toward Gerard.
Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the guilt, but my vision spun.
Through that haze, words I never would have said if I were in my right mind slipped out without resistance.
“…Do you want me to purify you?”
