I Wish You Well In Your Next Love, My Love - Chapter 59
I only reached out a hand, pulled in the neatly stacked clothes placed in front of the door, and slipped them on over my head.
After that, I moved very quickly.
I went straight out, crossed the dark living room, and collapsed face-down onto the bed.
Even up to the moment I pulled the blanket over myself, I was so busy trying to hide that I didnāt even check Gerardās face.
Did he see me?
Even if he did, the room was dark, so he probably didnāt see the injuries on my face.
I pulled the blanket, which was already covering my head, up a little more, and then my feet stuck out.
For no reason, I kept rubbing my cold feet together, then pulling the blanket back down again.
When I forced my eyes shut, Arvinaās hurt face rose up behind my darkened eyelids. Her fists trembling pitifully, and her tightly pressed lips.
After that, the countless insults and violence poured onto me blurred together into one mass, so they didnāt come back to me in detail. If that was fortunate, then it was fortunate.
By the time the wounds healed, what happened today would also slowly fade from my memory.
You can put ointment on wounds, but no medicine works on memory, so I felt relieved that it was the kind of memory that would fade easily.
But as I lay there curled up in the dark, my future suddenly felt bleak.
How much longer do I have to live like this.
Knowing to the bone that it was useless to voice my resentment somehow made me feel especially miserable today.
If the world were a single book, I know well enough that I am not the protagonist of this story.
I wouldnāt even dare dream it.
Maybe that was why. At some point, whenever I read books, I started identifying with the side characters who were described in only a single line.
Even if the protagonist knocks over a merchantās street stall, everyone only focuses on the wound on the protagonistās cheek, and no one even thinks about the stallās owner.
Today, I was the owner of that stall.
Even if the grades I had desperately maintained at every moment plummeted to the bottom ranks all at once, no one would listen to my personal circumstances.
Living as a side character around the protagonist is this exhausting.
āā¦ā¦ā
Today, my only comfort was these clothes that had been stacked in front of the bathroom.
Ironically, the only person who moved solely for my sake was the very person against whom I had committed the greatest wrongdoing.
A deep helplessness pressed down on me.
Iā¦ What should I do from now on.
Should I beg somehow, just so I can at least avoid the demerits? If I ask Arvina, she might listen.
āā¦ā¦ā
āYou think Miss Odriann would grant your request? She seems too busy to even spare you a thought.ā
ā¦Would she?
Unable to receive the Ascension Rite, I can only watch that tragedy unfold without being able to wash away even a little of the shadow I cast over his brilliant life.
It felt as though blood were flowing from my pitch-black heart.
As the tragedy that had befallen him and me was thrust before my eyes in such a vivid form, my breath caught hard in my throat.
Gerard.
The name I couldnāt bring myself to say even though he was right beside me circled inside my mouth.
Is the very fact that Iām staying by your side a sin.
Maybe I was caught in my own slyness, pretending it was for your sake while circling around you and stealing glances at your back.
So maybe this was my punishment.
Iām sorryā¦ Iām sorry.
At last, the exhausting day came to an end together with the guilt I felt toward you.
