Thought It Was 'The End', Only to Return to a Changed Genre - Chapter 191
* * *
What would he know? He thinks he understands?
When Adelineâs tearful face finally twisted as she failed to hold back her tears, something clicked deep within Shane.
It was a pain similar to pleasure.
Even though her tears were evidence of the hurt he caused, Shane didnât mind. In fact, he found it not so bad. It meant that she cared enough to be hurt by his actions and words.
The burning ache in his chest, as if his heart had been cut with a knife, was something he could endure. He welcomed it, even. It was familiar.
Adeline was the only one who had ever caused him pain. Only what came from her was real.
He knew there was something broken in his head.
But he had become so numb that even this barely registered as pain.
To Adeline, âShane Blanchardâ was someone without meaning or value, so he had grown used to being discarded.
Adeline was always someone who ran ahead on her own.
She had been that way since their childhood.
Sometimes, Shane thought Adeline was like the hero of some epic tale. A hero who lived for a greater purpose but didnât realize how the people who loved them suffered. She was exactly like that.
Adeline had a clear goal of her own. Like a power-driven figure burning with ambition, she seemed to live for that goal alone.
Even in the blink of an eye, sheâd leave him far behind.
The hand she held briefly out of pity was easily released as she moved on to hold another.
Though the only comfort he had was knowing that she didnât linger with anyone for long, in reality, that, too, was meaningless to her.
She was someone who didnât stay with anyone, yet gave her love to everyone.
So, even if she hurt him, if she stopped and cried because of him, that alone would mean something.
Even if those tears drowned him, heâd willingly savor each and every drop.
Shane gazed endlessly at Adeline as she slept.
Who knew how much sheâd sufferedâshe had fallen asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.
She didnât even stir, as if she wasnât dreaming at all.
Sometimes, Shane would place a finger beneath Adelineâs nose as she slept, just to reassure himself that she was really alive. Those five years she had vanished like smoke had been that impactful.
Adeline was generally hard to wake once she fell asleep. On the nights when she had nightmares, she would break out in cold sweat but still wouldnât wake, as though someone were holding her consciousness hostage.
Her body was nestled in his arms, but his voice couldnât reach her.
It was enough to drive a person mad.
Saying he didnât expect anything yet waiting endlessly was like someone abandoned in the desert without water.
Just waiting would be easy. But watching the one person he cherished struggle, while he could only sit by helplessly, was like watching a rat gnaw at his fingers, starting from the nails.
He could feel his patience wearing thin, but he waited as Adeline told him to, as she wanted him to.
And as a result, he had almost lost her completely.
Whether he obeyed or defied her, love was something he couldnât grasp.
He learned in so many ways that it was impossible to hold onto flowing water.
Even if he dragged the elusive Adeline out of hiding and confined her, bound her with family and name, she could vanish at any moment.
How much longer would she keep him on edge?
Sometimes, Shane felt like a monster guarding a labyrinth, foolishly clinging to the belief that a nonexistent treasure lay within, believing it was his own, growling to protect it.
Hiding his ugliness in the darkness, wandering in delusion and possessiveness.
Shane had never lied.
He was as tired of being strung along by Adeline as he was in love with her. Every word heâd spoken to her was sincere.
Whether in life or in death, he would never let her go.
