Chapter 224
The emotions Shane had reserved solely for Adeline found nowhere to go and tore at his insides, but for Shane, the thought of losing even that pain was far more terrifying.
If even this anguish were to fade, it would feel as though no evidence of Adelineās existence remained.
No matter how much time passed, forgetting her was impossible. If he could die amidst this pain, it might actually be a relief.
Shane endured well enough.
He couldnāt be happy, but he could at least pretend to be. He endured, holding on day by day, but there were moments when it became unbearable.
Those moments always came on the third Saturday afternoon of every monthāthe time he had always spent with Adeline.
On those days, he would lock himself in the room filled with all traces of her and sit in silence.
He would sit on the sofa Adeline once used, neither eating nor sleeping, staring at the ceiling blankly until tears he thought had dried long ago began to stream down and pool in his ears.
I miss you.
No matter how much he denied reality, Adeline would not return.
If he could turn back time, he felt he would do anythingāanything at all.
Shane buried his face in his hands and sobbed.
He poured out all the grief, despair, and unbearable loneliness he had suppressed, begging a person who could no longer hear him.
I was wrong, Adeline.
I was wrong, so please, forgive me. Please, let me follow you now.
Iāll do anythingājust let me go to you.
Even if you wonāt forgive me, I think Iād be okay with it, as long as I could see you again, even in death.
And when the day passed, when the third Saturday of the month came and went, Shane would return to his composed self.
He would live to fulfill Adelineās wish for him to be happy.
But he would never actually achieve that wish.
*
A man who ought to have scoffed at the idea of love was now dying because of it.
To Genevieve, Shane Blanchardās love was a poison.
A poison so potent it was killing him from the inside.
Is that what love is? Is that really something beautiful?
Is loving someone truly as noble and righteous as the songs of the world proclaim?
A person shouldnāt be sustained by only one thing.
Itās possible to live on just one thing, but itās suffocating and agonizing.
The Shane who remained, stripped of all else but his pain, seemed precarious even to Genevieve, who rarely saw him.
Who would believe that a man like Shane, seemingly impervious to pain or fear, was being consumed by something as fragile as loveāa love akin to that of a weeping, desperate teenage girl?
After Shane left, Edwin sighed in exasperation.
āHow long is he going to keep this up?ā
āProbably for the rest of his life,ā Genevieve replied.
āNo way. No matter how much he loved his fiancĆ©e, thatās too much.ā
āWell, I wouldnāt know how to forget her either. Not for a lifetime.ā
Edwin, who had been preparing to leave for another meeting, looked at Genevieve as though she were some incomprehensible creature.
Free in every sense of the word and having never loved anyone sincerely, Edwin simply couldnāt understand.
Genevieve clicked her tongue and thought to herself that this man might end up stabbed to death someday, but even so, she believed Edwin was far better off than her or Shane.
Not knowing that kind of love made Edwin far healthier and happier.
A person shouldnāt live for just one thing, butā¦ Genevieve herself had failed to find any meaning beyond Adeline for years now.
Adeline had been cruel.
If she were going to die like that, she shouldnāt have been so kind.
Many people had grown kind to Genevieve since she became the saintess, but none of them touched her heart.
No one but Adeline.
And Genevieve hadnāt found anyone she could love more than Adeline, either.
If Genevieve was like this, then there was nothing more to say about Shane.
His love, deeper, stickier, darker, and more poisonous than hers, was indeed a poison.
Genevieve thought Shane was mad.
Once a person goes mad, thereās no coming back to sanity.
*
Even now, with Adeline Bertrand miraculously alive again, Shane was still utterly insane.
āIf youāre hiding something, I suggest you spill it nowāfor your own good.ā
āDid you forget I just got back from an expedition yesterdayā¦?ā
Shaneās blue eyes glinted with deadly intent, and Genevieve let out a sigh.
Whatās with this lunatic and his outbursts now?
