Chapter 230
Jeff, who prided himself on being the most objective among the Bertrand family, found the whole situation laughable nonsense. Including Emma, the Bertrand family’s sense of ethics was absurdly low and abysmal.
While the family worried that Shane’s obsession might one day harm Adeline, Jeff was certain that Shane, no matter how furious he became, would never harm so much as a single strand of hair on her head. Even if he lashed out in anger, he’d harm himself before he’d ever let Adeline see him in a sorry state.
“So why were you happy about the child, then?”
“Because the child will make it harder for her to leave me. They’ll tie us even more perfectly together.”
“……”
“Jeff, I have never loved anyone but Adeline.”
“……”
“People, for the most part, are stupid, disgusting, and revolting. When someone is too stupid, it bothers me that I’m of the same species as them. If I’m talking and they’re barking, I start thinking I’d rather be training a dog.”
Is this guy being too honest with me right now?
Jeff felt a peculiar and unpleasant irritation bubbling up inside him.
“Even for people who do resemble humans, it’s the same. Including myself, I honestly don’t know what makes humans any different from monsters.”
So, of course, he couldn’t love them.
The only exception was Adeline.
“I’m sure I can cherish a part of Adeline, her child. But I don’t think I’ll be able to love them the way Adeline expects me to. Not truly.”
“How do you know that? You love everything related to Adeline.”
“If that’s the case, Jeff, then I should love you, too.”
Loving the child just because half of them came from Adeline didn’t make sense to Shane. By that logic, Patrick and Jeff, who shared the same ‘ingredients’ as Adeline, should evoke the same feelings.
“Damn it, stop saying disgusting things. You’re making my skin crawl.”
“Don’t worry. That will never happen, even if I die.”
For once, Shane looked genuinely uneasy.
What had initially been excitement at the thought of a deeper connection with Adeline had turned into apprehension. He seemed increasingly worried that he might fall short of her expectations.
He wasn’t concerned about whether he could love the child or feel guilty about it. No, Shane was anxious about disappointing Adeline or failing to live up to her hopes.
‘Can someone like this even be a father?’
Jeff didn’t have a solution either. Though not as extreme as Shane, Jeff shared a misanthropic outlook.
The only difference was that Jeff was capable of loving his family and a few close friends. Even so, he found it difficult to truly love someone.
Loving others was hard enough, but loving them in the way they wanted to be loved was even harder.
Now, Jeff had come to love Rachel as a friend, but he knew he couldn’t give her the kind of love she desired.
In the end, all he could offer was the usual platitude.
“You’ll probably feel differently once the child is born.”
Maybe.
*
And so, the child was born.
Shane had been a nervous wreck, nearly losing his mind every time he heard a scream from beyond the door.
For all his composure, the moment the midwife told him he could enter, he rushed inside to Adeline’s side.
Throughout the ordeal, Shane had been trembling with fear that Adeline might die.
When the newborn let out its first feeble cries, Shane hardly paid attention.
Instead, he knelt beside Adeline’s bed, pressing his forehead against her limp hand.
“I’m sorry, Adeline. I’m so sorry. This is my fault…”
“What are you… Why are you crying again…?”
I’m the one who did all the hard work.
“It’s a beautiful baby girl, Your Grace. Would you like to hold her?”
Shane hesitated, reluctant to let go of Adeline’s hand. Slowly, he raised his head. Jeff noticed a trace of resentment flicker in Shane’s blue eyes.
Why is he resenting the poor baby for something that’s clearly his fault?
The baby was tiny.
Wrapped snugly in soft, clean cloth, she was red and wrinkled, her eyes still closed. Her little mouth opened and closed as though something was bothering her.
Jeff, who had resolved to snatch the baby away if Shane so much as looked at her wrong, watched as Shane cautiously took the child into his arms.
And then, Jeff chuckled softly.
‘Ah, I see.’
All his worries had been for nothing.
Jeff had just witnessed the moment a man fell in love.
Emma whispered softly to her son,
“What are we going to do with my granddaughter…?”
“Exactly. What are we supposed to do with my niece…?”
Honestly, what could they do?
penthesulia
There’s a part of me that honestly is enjoying Shane’s struggles IMMENSELY. It’s SUPER petty but also REALLY amusing.
I’ve heard it said that women start loving their children while they’re carrying them and men start loving their children after they’re born and get to know them, and this is a neat example of it playing out.