I Give Up on the BL Novel's Male Leads - Chapter 190
Melias’s words sounded like he was taking back the marriage proposal he had made to her.
What else could he possibly be retracting? Illein thought there was nothing else significant enough for him to withdraw.
It felt strange. She remembered that there was a time she wished for it, so why did she feel disappointed now?
“What exactly do you mean?”
Still wanting clarity, Illein asked again.
“Itâs the foolish thing I said before.”
Meliasâs face reddened, clearly struggling to control his emotions.
“The thing I said before…”
He repeated the phrase several times in his mind. Was this truly the right decision? Though Melias wasnât experienced in taking bold actions, once he spoke, he instantly regretted it.
He worried that after saying what he intended, Illein might see him as a pathetic man who canât even keep his promises.
So the words circled endlessly inside his mouth, reluctant to be released.
Illein watched him patiently, ready to accept whatever he had to say. Thanks to her patience, Melias finally mustered the courage and spoke up.
“The part where I said it would be okay for us to meet others after marriage… thatâs not acceptable anymore. I hope neither of us sees anyone else after weâre married.”
After hearing Meliasâs words, Illeinâs earlier disappointment melted away.
“May I ask why you changed your mind?”
Curious, Illein looked at Melias expectantly.
Melias felt relieved at her reaction. He had worried she might think him petty, but surprisingly, her response wasnât negative. Encouraged, he continued with a more serious tone.
“At first, I thought it was acceptable. If we fulfilled our duties as nobles. And you know there are many nobles like that… youâre aware, right?”
“…Yes.”
It was true.
Most nobles had arranged marriages.
And as long as they fulfilled their duty of producing heirs, it was not unusual for them to keep lovers on the sideâdozens or even hundreds.
Of course, it wasnât exactly proper. Most kept it discreet, turning a blind eye, but officially, it was not allowed.
Having a lover was something only the most precious nobles, like royalty, could do exceptionally. Even then, only with strict contracts.
Still, among nobles, such affairs were treated as minor indiscretions. After all, asking each other to only look toward their partner in a political marriage conducted without love was a very difficult demand to uphold for both sides.
And if this was common sense among nobles, then it was common sense. Except for a few exceptions.
Perhaps thatâs why she found it so surprising when Melias suddenly brought up this topic.
At first, when Melias said he only cared about fulfilling his duties and nothing else, she honestly felt quite hurt. That was part of why she found him uncomfortable and burdensome.
So seeing him suddenly change like this gave her a subtle sense of happiness.
Melias carefully chose his words after thoughtful consideration. It was an effort to make sure his true feelings wouldnât be misunderstood.
“Illein.”
“Yes?”
“Whenever Iâm with you, I notice something.”
He gently took the ring from her hand.
“When you become Illenas, thereâs a fragrant scent that comes from you. At first, I thought it was just because youâre a water mage.”
“You mean me?”
“Yes… but I donât think thatâs the whole reason.”
Illein recalled that recently, every time she returned to her Illeins form, the mages had told her she gave off a pleasant fragrance.
She had never thought much of it.
She simply guessed it might be due to the magic control device. Since it was a change that happened after the device merged with her.
But unlike Illein, Melias had taken this seriously.
“I felt a bit unfair knowing that others noticed this scent you carry.”
“âŚMelias?”
“To me, Illein is special. And I think that specialness should be shared only between us.”
Melias himself wasnât sure what exactly he was saying.
But one thing was certain. He had rarely been this sincere in his life. His life had always flowed naturally, carried by a sense of responsibility. He had never spoken with such emotion and gravity before.
“So I hope Illein does not take a lover . Because I wonât either.”
Illein nodded at those words.
In truth, if she were to marry someone, she believed they should be faithful to each other.
That had been her belief since her previous life.
“Melias, actually, I feel the same. Weâve talked about this before, butâŚ, marriage may mean nothing to nobles, but⌔
“âŚ.”
“I think itâs very special. Thatâs why at first, I was afraid of being engaged to Melias. I was scared of being tied to someone I didnât love.”
Melias looked steadily into Illeinâs eyes.
“But I believe this marriage… should be just between the two of us.”
