I Give Up on the BL Novel's Male Leads - Chapter 191
Illein said this without looking away from Meliasâ gaze.
“Illein.”
At that moment, Melias let out a deep breath he had been holding in. The tension of the moment melted away with his exhale.
His ears and cheeks flushed bright red. And his heart pounded loudly at her words.
Then, something caught Meliasâ eyeâa faint sparkle in Illeinâs pupils.
He knew exactly what it was. It was one of the signs that appeared after taking the love potion.
“Melias.”
Just as Melias leaned in to look closer, Illein hugged him and he couldnât see it more clearly.
For a moment, Melias convinced himself it was just his imagination.
He forced himself to believe it was just the moonlight reflecting and chose to ignore it.
Illein arrived at the mansion, unpacked, and went straight to wash up. Then she lay down on the bed to sleep.
She sighed softly and stared up at the ceiling. Hearing a presence, she spoke without opening her eyes.
“Edwin, isnât it?”
“…”
“Come here. I donât have much energy today… maybe we can just fall asleep like this… and you can leave in the morning.”
“It might be uncomfortable to stay until morning.”
“Lie down here.”
Illein said this, moving to one side of the bed. Her eyes were still too tired, so she stayed still without opening them.
“A man and a woman shouldnât share a bed.”
“Weâve already done that before. Maybe you forgot.”
Illein said this, then let out a soft breath.
“Is Illein studying separately at Duke Candelariaâs mansion?”
“Yes.”
“It seems that Young Duke Candelaria knows that you and Illein take turns attending.”
“Yes, weâre accomplices.”
“…I see.”
She said that, then sighed deeply again.
Somehow, her eyes felt sore, and she didnât want to look at Edwin. Because if she opened them and saw him, she felt she might weaken again somehow.
Illein wanted to open her heart to Meliasâeven if it meant taking the love potion.
But now, as she lay down, the potionâs effects had worn off completely, and rational thoughts and humiliation kept creeping up, tormenting her.
What ate away at her most was guilt.
Melias had grown kinder as she obediently yielded to him after taking the potion.
She thought she finally understood the kind of woman he wanted: obedient, gifted with water abilities, and someone who would never refuse his suggestions.
And that woman could be anyone⌠She thought so, yet before she realized it, she opened her eyes.
“Edwin.”
He was hesitatingâwhether to lie down beside her or not. Then she tugged his sleeve, drawing him close to lie by her side.
“Edwin, Iâm so tired… and itâs really hard.”
“Thatâs because you had to attend class instead of Illein.”
“Pretending to be my brother while studying is exhausting too.”
“I see.”
As he lay quietly beside her, she nestled into his arms.
Her chest felt strange.
She truly couldnât tell if not only Meliasâs hair but also Edwinâs had been mixed in when the love potion was made.
“Please share your energy with me. I want to wake up feeling refreshed.”
“âŚAlright.”
“Hold me tight.”
She said this while avoiding his hand. She feared that if he held her hand, he might use that as an excuse not to hug her more.
Soon, he sighed and pulled her close in a tight embrace.
“Edwin.”
“Iâm listening.”
“Have you ever kissed someone?”
Somehow, she asked the question. In truth, her subconscious held memories of having kissed himâthough it wasnât truly Edwin, but Theodore.
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
Edwin said this, looking Illein squarely in the eyes.
“Thereâs a saying in the empire. That identical twins are actually one person split into two.”
“âŚYes, I know.”
“If thatâs true, then Iâve had experiences beyond that.”
She didnât understand what he meant.
For a moment, it felt like something was stirring in her mind, spilling black ink all over her thoughts.
“Ah! What were we just talking about?”
She asked, and Edwin let out a deep sigh.
“I said I want to kiss you.”
He said it impulsively. He knew she wouldnât remember the things he said anyway.
It was just a spur-of-the-moment confession.
He thought maybe it was better if she drifted away from him. Yet, the moment he said it, she looked at him with a curious expression.
“Illenas.”
“Who was Edwinâs first kiss?”
“⌔
“Who was Edwinâs first love?”
“⌔
“Did you love that person?”
“No.”
“Do you love anyone now?”
“I donât know.”
Edwin said this, staring at Illein.
For some reason, she felt her mind go hazy again. Still, as if trying to hold onto what little clarity she had left, she reached out and pressed her lips to Edwinâs.
Edwin turned his head away.
And the moment their lips parted, she forgot everything againâexcept for the moment he arrived here.
