Chapter 154
“Do you wish I were leaving sooner?”
“Why do you always take things that far?”
“I’m already depressed just thinking about not being able to see you.”
“…Would you like to borrow a book?”
I handed him the book I had carefully placed on the bedside table.
He stared silently at the book held before his face, then let out a laugh and sat up completely.
“It’s much more worn out than when I first saw it.”
“……”
Gerard accepted the book and remained silent for a moment. He seemed to think about something before finally speaking.
“While we’re doing it, I could tolerate a bit of choking.”
He still thought this book was merely an ordinary e****c novel.
“I’m not doing anything like that. I’m not interested in it either.”
“Should we try it now and see whether you’re interested?”
Unable to control my expression, I tried to snatch the book back from him. Or rather, I would have snatched it back if Gerard hadn’t swiftly raised it above his head.
“I’ll use it carefully and return it without getting c*m on it.”
“……”
I couldn’t understand a single thing he had just said.
Why would c*m get on a book I had lent him to read, and why had he said he would use it?
“If you’re not going to read it, give it back.”
“I told you I’m going to read it.”
Gerard took the book and left the room entirely. He had acted first in case I tried to take it away.
When I came into the living room carrying fresh clothes to change into, Gerard had put on his coat as though he were about to leave.
“Do you really not want me to come tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
“Not even for a moment?”
I nodded repeatedly.
His eyes narrowed.
“You’re really not disappointed at all.”
Of course not. Tomorrow was the day I was going to the bookstore to see the second volume I had been waiting for.
“Please be careful on your way home.”
There was hardly anything Gerard needed to be careful of, but I said it to mean that he should hurry home. Then I turned toward the bathroom.
“Ah.”
At that moment, Arvina’s face flashed through my mind.
When I turned around, Gerard was still standing there, and his face brightened with faint expectation.
“Have you met Arvina since the banquet?”
At the unexpected question, his expression instantly turned dry.
The anticipation that had lit his eyes faded into a murky gleam. He slowly ran the tip of his tongue along the inside of his mouth before reluctantly answering.
“No. We don’t meet often in the first place.”
He didn’t need to add the last part.
“Arvina hasn’t been attending training.”
“Are you worried?”
I shook my head. Who was I to worry about her? It merely bothered me a little.
It was strange that she hadn’t taken any action even though she had realized Gerard and I weren’t in an ordinary relationship.
Was she crying alone from heartbreak, as the other trainees said?
“Should I look into it?”
Gerard seemed completely unconcerned.
His interest had fallen so sharply that it was difficult to believe he was the same man who had visited her estate on his days off to court her.
Could Gerard form an imprint with Arvina like this?
Even if I removed myself from between them, in their current state, it seemed unlikely that they would even begin dating, much less form an imprint.
“Are you going to visit her yourself?”
“I don’t intend to, but I will if you want me to.”
“…No, it’s fine.”
Gerard visiting Arvina now would be no different from stirring up a hornet’s nest.
Arvina was beautiful and delicate like a piece of glasswork.
I was afraid even to imagine what she might impulsively do while her emotions were at their peak.
For now, the first priority was for Arvina to calm down somehow and return to her daily life.
Gerard lingered there for quite a while longer, and he only returned to his estate after I entered the bathroom.
Thud. As I listened to the iron gate close, I thought.
Did Gerard know too?
That forming an imprint could improve the compatibility rate that plagued him like a chronic illness.
Of course. There was no way Gerard didn’t know something Theor knew.
“Did he want to form an imprint with Arvina?”
His feelings might have shifted toward me now, but before he reunited with me, perhaps he had wanted an imprint.
Separate from recovering his memories, it would mean he no longer had to suffer because of purification.
If I hadn’t crawled over that wall that day, perhaps the two of them would have married as soon as Arvina graduated from training and formed an imprint on their wedding night.
Then Gerard wouldn’t have had to suffer from the risk of going on rampage.
“…It seems I was the problem again.”
The conclusion I had reached last time was correct after all.
I firmly shut off the faucet. The water pouring over my head stopped. I pressed a soft towel against my face again and again to dry it.
I wasn’t someone who particularly enjoyed contemplation, nor was I a philosopher, but sometimes I found myself thinking about the reason for my existence.
And lately, I was getting closer and closer to the answer.
I was the only misfortune Gerard had been born with.
